Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Waiting

God and I had a talk the other day. What I've come to realize is that none of this is a surprise to him. In fact, I would go so far as to say that none of this is hard for him, either.

20K for this adoption? That's nothing for the one who used a few loaves and fish to feed thousands.

Negative attitudes from strangers about the precious love I have for my daughter? Laughable, considering the suffering of Christ because of his love for us.

And the waiting? Oh, the waiting. God really knows about the waiting. The waiting He does, every day. He reveals his beauty in all of creation, and His love is the foundation for every hug, every smile, every whispered "I love you." And yet, we do not see His beauty; we do not know His love- we miss it, caught up in our own lives. He has created a world that offers only a taste of heaven, but what a sweet taste that is. And yet, this masterful chef is not given the credit for the delicious moments of life. Oh yes, He knows about waiting- about longing. That is how He spends His days. Waiting for us- longing for the crown of His creation to return to Him. How His arms ache to hold us. How he desires to have intimacy with us- to whisper secret sonnets to our broken hearts. How He wants us to be near to Him, to join him in the heavenly mansion He has prepared for us- to welcome us into our perfect home! Every day, all day, for thousands of years, He has longed for his children. Oh yes, he knows about the waiting.

My heart longs for my daughter. But how much more does the Author of Love long for us? So to those who wait, be encouraged. Your Father knows your heart, and he hears your prayers.


Anonymous said...

You have to have the "Let Go and Let God" approach. It's hard and a constant battle. Just when you think you 'got it', you lose it again. It so helps to realize you have absolutely NO control over anyone else, just yourself. It also helps to know, we're all in the same boat with the same struggles. My emotions waffle from moment to moment. It's part of the 'ride'. Just when you think you have control, you zig when you should have zagged.

Fingers crossed that not too much more time goes by before you get your referral.

BTW, the emotions are the same whether you're waiting to see your little one for the first time or waiting to hold him/her for the first time. It's stressful to say the least.



Stacie said...

I just read this - "It's not believing in God that is difficult, it is waiting on Him that is." I thought that related so well to the adoption experience. We know God is in control and we know He has a plan, but the waiting... well, you know.
I've been thinking of you and praying there is a resolution soon so we can hear good news of a referral.

Mamá to the best 2 said...

oh grace, i just wanted to let you know that we think you're doing such a great job, during this LONG HARD wait, trusting our Father and knowing HIS plan is better than ours! We're praying, praying for you!

Amber said...

I love your candid thoughts. Adoption is definitely an emotional process. I guess it prepares us for the amazing journey of the rest of the childs life and whats to come. Hang in there!

DC said...

I hope He hears your prayers and gets you that referral soon!!

coffeemom said...

Beautiful post. totally spot on target. It IS so hard, worth it, but so hard. You're in my prayers.