That's how many hits I've had on this site in 2 months. 17,480 since this blog began in October, 2007. I love you, readers!
One of the things that I worry about with these prolonged delays (and yes, this is trivial and stupid) is that I am going to become irrelevant. No one is going to read my blog. My waiting will become boring, and people will stop caring. Does that sound obnoxiously self-absorbed? Let me explain.
I have been blogging since September, 2005. Nearly 3 years. It is not so much that I want the world to know all of my business or that I am some sort of exhibitionist, because I'm not. But what I have realized, especially with this adoption blog, is that while I am a tiny, insignificant part of the world, blogging allows me to feel like I matter. As if, in some way, I am making a mark on the world. I am helping this world become a little smaller, a little more connected, a little more informed, a little more supportive. I feel like I am bringing a bit of lasting goodness into this world. And that makes me feel like no matter how small and insignificant my life is, I can make a difference, even if it is just to bring a smile or virtual hug to some reader that I don't even know about.
So as this delay continues, as my wait for a referral drags on, I worry that I will become irrelevant. That I will loose touch with what the majority of my readers think about and want to talk about. I worry that my longing for my daughter will turn into whining, and my readers will tune out because I will have nothing meaningful to add to their lives. (*Note, I worry about a lot of other things, too. Most of the other things I worry about are far more significant and important than this. But I am, by nature, a bit of a worrier.) And if this disconnect happens, I worry that my ability to leave a positive mark on the world will be diminished.
And then, there is this other part, too. Since I've gone from just a "blogger" to an "adoption blogger" I have found this incredible and unexpected support system. This community of bloggers, connected only by a bit of broadband cable and binary code, has become a life-vest in the times where my worry and sorrow have come in drowning floods. Never before have I felt so indebted to Al Gore for creating the Internet; this expression of the creativity and ingenuity that God has instilled in mankind has made this journey so much easier. "Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half sorrow." This has proven so true, as I have shared the joys and sorrows of this journey, and the journey of others, through this digital reality of bloggerdom.
So, readers, thanks for joining in my journey. Thank you for supporting me, for doubling my joy, for halving my sorrows. I hope that I never become irrelevant to you, because you enrich my life so much. Here's to you, readers!