Thursday, June 26, 2008

7,677

That's how many hits I've had on this site in 2 months. 17,480 since this blog began in October, 2007. I love you, readers!

One of the things that I worry about with these prolonged delays (and yes, this is trivial and stupid) is that I am going to become irrelevant. No one is going to read my blog. My waiting will become boring, and people will stop caring. Does that sound obnoxiously self-absorbed? Let me explain.

I have been blogging since September, 2005. Nearly 3 years. It is not so much that I want the world to know all of my business or that I am some sort of exhibitionist, because I'm not. But what I have realized, especially with this adoption blog, is that while I am a tiny, insignificant part of the world, blogging allows me to feel like I matter. As if, in some way, I am making a mark on the world. I am helping this world become a little smaller, a little more connected, a little more informed, a little more supportive. I feel like I am bringing a bit of lasting goodness into this world. And that makes me feel like no matter how small and insignificant my life is, I can make a difference, even if it is just to bring a smile or virtual hug to some reader that I don't even know about.

So as this delay continues, as my wait for a referral drags on, I worry that I will become irrelevant. That I will loose touch with what the majority of my readers think about and want to talk about. I worry that my longing for my daughter will turn into whining, and my readers will tune out because I will have nothing meaningful to add to their lives. (*Note, I worry about a lot of other things, too. Most of the other things I worry about are far more significant and important than this. But I am, by nature, a bit of a worrier.) And if this disconnect happens, I worry that my ability to leave a positive mark on the world will be diminished.

And then, there is this other part, too. Since I've gone from just a "blogger" to an "adoption blogger" I have found this incredible and unexpected support system. This community of bloggers, connected only by a bit of broadband cable and binary code, has become a life-vest in the times where my worry and sorrow have come in drowning floods. Never before have I felt so indebted to Al Gore for creating the Internet; this expression of the creativity and ingenuity that God has instilled in mankind has made this journey so much easier. "Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half sorrow." This has proven so true, as I have shared the joys and sorrows of this journey, and the journey of others, through this digital reality of bloggerdom.

So, readers, thanks for joining in my journey. Thank you for supporting me, for doubling my joy, for halving my sorrows. I hope that I never become irrelevant to you, because you enrich my life so much. Here's to you, readers!

13 comments:

emily said...

What a wonderfully transparent post!! The waiting is hard, simple as that. You do a great job of being authentic while glorifying the Lord at the same time. I feel your pain, all of it!

Keep writing-- people will definitely keep reading.:)

nebraskaridge said...

You're definitely not irrelevant - your blog is where I go when I need a word of encouragement on this difficult journey!

Amy

Teresa said...

You are one of my favorite daily reads! I agree wholeheartedly that the support system out there is amazing. We are here for ya girl and will see you through this tough time.

habeshachild said...

Don't forget that it's YOU and your writing that keeps us coming back - it's not the actual events in your life. :-)

Your adoption delay will hardly keep people from visiting. You are in no danger of becoming irrelevant!

And I agree - it's amazing how much support and community the blogosphere provides. Who knew?

JK x2 said...

Blogging is one of the most effective ways to keep large groups up-to-date on your life. And that's why we check in - to keep up-to-date on every part of your life...even the long periods of waiting.

The Albertsons said...

I, for one, will continue to come to your blog, because I LOVE seeing who God has planned to be in each family, and I cannot wait to see who your daughter is! Plus since I've been there, I can't help but think... do I know who she is???? Will I be able to provide extra pictures??? I certainly hope so!
Hang in there... I know this is beyond hard...
becca

Sharon & Mike said...

Grace,

So long as there are people stuck in this delay with you, you will have readers. The support system is huge and such a blessing to all of us.

That's a ton of hits though!

haze said...

Ditto all above. All adoption participants know the score with adoption blogs - there's THE WAIT. My heart goes out to you and others who are SO CLOSE to getting their referrals. In addition to trying to support you, by following your blog I am able to prepare myself for when I get to this stage of the wait.

And let's face it, sometimes the virtual hugs are the most heartfelt ones.

Holly said...

Grace,
You are a beautiful mix of brilliant and funny, warm and passionate and your worries are unfounded!
Each time I click on All These Reasons I am hoping to see THE POST that "the sparrow has arrived" and I will rejoice with the rest when it does!
I can't pretend to know how hard the waiting is... we just turned our dossier in yesterday!!
I'll keep checking back!
Blessings,
Holly

Easties said...

I am new to your blog, and the entire blogging world, and I love your writings. I am waiting to wait, so I like to see what it is like to actually be where you are. Don't wait alone...wait with us. :)

Tanya said...

It is amazing hey? I love to read your blog, nice to find someone so far away who just gets "it". I will keep coming by for as long as you write here.

Anonymous said...

Anxiously awaiting news of your referral. Have no fear...I will continue to stalk your blog :).Your "neighbor" -Kim ksseitz@excite.com

coffeemom said...

Oh my goodness, what would the Gladney adoption family DO without you?? That FBI list is one of the best things since sliced bread. And you too, I think we all love keeping up with your blog. No whining, it's waiting. THe whole process is amazing from start to finish and beyond so don't stop blogging, we want to follow!