tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7844468561009952242024-03-12T19:18:11.315-04:00All These ReasonsA single-momma's Ethiopian adoption blog... that became a married couple's pregnancy blog... that became a mostly-stay-at-home RN-Momma's orphan care blog. Who knows what's next?gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.comBlogger456125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-62494496189926772572011-03-02T22:12:00.000-05:002011-03-02T22:12:12.483-05:00MovingOkay, it's official.<br />
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I will no longer be posting at this blog. All posting will be moved to my old/regular blog, now located at:<br />
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<a href="http://www.gracelings.org/">www.gracelings.org</a><br />
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I am working on a few adoption-related posts, especially about ethics in adoption. I also will be posting my "daily life" stuff over there.<br />
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And pictures of my kids:)<br />
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I am in the process of moving the archives for this blog, and will soon be taking this blog down. So please update your reader, and follow me over at the new/old blog.<br />
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See you there!gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-35973922115775414492011-02-02T16:26:00.000-05:002011-02-02T16:26:25.439-05:00SwoonishSo, I don't really buy much for myself in terms of clothing. I have a few basic items and may buy things I need (such as nurisng gear and socks without holes) but I don't have a very big wardrome. Especially right now, since I refuse to buy much that fits my (current) size... (because I am going to lose this baby weight!)<br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">But these things are tempting me...</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Ordinary Hero Speak Up Shirt:</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLqAHHMnZAqB4O_9lq80zg-rXSA9hjXEmDIeAoC9p4_xuMtSoRZQx-sOAjA9mNm8T0-oWtgyqZdxOpKSnvhfy7lCTQ7d-hJuEVHB7FBUT8vInLhNhuudzpbK482iEUBMZR4pKaG_cgWf9/s400/Speak+Up+Green+front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYLqAHHMnZAqB4O_9lq80zg-rXSA9hjXEmDIeAoC9p4_xuMtSoRZQx-sOAjA9mNm8T0-oWtgyqZdxOpKSnvhfy7lCTQ7d-hJuEVHB7FBUT8vInLhNhuudzpbK482iEUBMZR4pKaG_cgWf9/s320/Speak+Up+Green+front.jpg" width="220" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNlLIuD6ED-Z5q02WyU_vX2HaocUKBdH5EsKWv73sCquUysNzlvBFtZLRKbbCcu4dglUEhnpVZpTkJdpX_Lf7WxgDV5b7ltapR9C_TEV8dhFQLpsgqlMyp-cICIE8ZpoCC3MtbvdkXzmB8/s400/Speak+Up+back.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNlLIuD6ED-Z5q02WyU_vX2HaocUKBdH5EsKWv73sCquUysNzlvBFtZLRKbbCcu4dglUEhnpVZpTkJdpX_Lf7WxgDV5b7ltapR9C_TEV8dhFQLpsgqlMyp-cICIE8ZpoCC3MtbvdkXzmB8/s320/Speak+Up+back.jpg" width="221" /></a></div><br />
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Ordinary Hero Tote:<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXgfwQRwUQ_a1PVg03db4DpGFZJiLpideGsxDdfB2V8k-Y6Y6yyxu90pcMuAuc7mcz-gGu1_nhyYqshUvKLdPcC9DZbasqqy6751GEbn8Rpzd26O_Z3OvPEPuhXf3sPJMeI-N9C3c93CRl/s400/IMG_1668.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXgfwQRwUQ_a1PVg03db4DpGFZJiLpideGsxDdfB2V8k-Y6Y6yyxu90pcMuAuc7mcz-gGu1_nhyYqshUvKLdPcC9DZbasqqy6751GEbn8Rpzd26O_Z3OvPEPuhXf3sPJMeI-N9C3c93CRl/s320/IMG_1668.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">And for my little dude, this Ordinary Hero onesie:</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzVqVYtqBoDWfte4y1uRFXKypugmfdoQ_Z8o_-UL8O_3XlIzFtiq5OZvQXF3eloK-n1VAWwhUt1hz43-PIblXnGMhQ4PBA4NyqG4RPcDS2bcX9VynxHZ-avbkAyJwKvRLVMwcAERWoXeIh/s400/Gray+little+world+changer+front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzVqVYtqBoDWfte4y1uRFXKypugmfdoQ_Z8o_-UL8O_3XlIzFtiq5OZvQXF3eloK-n1VAWwhUt1hz43-PIblXnGMhQ4PBA4NyqG4RPcDS2bcX9VynxHZ-avbkAyJwKvRLVMwcAERWoXeIh/s320/Gray+little+world+changer+front.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
These items are available at a special price over at the <a href="http://ordinaryheroblog.blogspot.com/">Ordinary Hero Blog</a>. They are also accepting sign-ups for their<a href="http://ordinaryheroblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/new-very-cool-product-is-in.html"> adoption/mission trip partner fundraisers</a>. If you are trying to fundraise for an adoption or mission trip, you should definitly check out this partnership.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">My birthday is in May, in case you are feeling generous:)</span><br />
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</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-25876092748657280182011-01-14T13:31:00.001-05:002011-01-14T13:33:29.161-05:00Crazy<a href="http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/">Missy </a>wrote this really great post about how "<a href="http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2011/01/crazy-in-2011.html">crazy</a>" she is. Or, at least, about how crazy some people think she is. Mostly because she has 4 kids and is adopting another from Ethiopia. But also because when you find your <a href="http://allthesereasons.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-iif-i-was-radica.html">passion</a>, your response to the Lord's call might just seem crazy!<br />
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But it seems to me that crazy is really a subjective term. I think it's more a matter of perspective.<br />
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Before I adopted a child, the families that adopted sibling groups, older children, children with special needs, HIV+ kids, etc seemed, well, a little crazy to me. Passionate, compassionate, inspiring... yes. But also just a little crazy. I couldn't understand it... and to be honest, the idea of doing what they were doing was not only crazy... but a little frightening, too. "There's no way I could ever do that. None. I am not cut out for that at all."<br />
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And then I went. And I saw. And my heart broke.<br />
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And I think my heart lined up more with God's heart. And suddenly, those choices that seemed so crazy only a few months before now seemed reasonable... attainable, even. I was considering those same things. Was I called to adopt an older child? And HIV+ child? More than one child at a time?<br />
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So I am sitting here, reflecting on how "crazy" people might think I am, with my beautiful Ethiopian daughter smack dab between my white bio kids. And how normal I seem (to me, at least!) And what it is that God is calling me to do. And if that might just seem a bit "crazy." And how I am okay with that.<br />
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But I am also thinking that we need to create a culture where "crazy" becomes the norm. Where we don't think it's odd to adopt a child with special needs. Where we don't raise our eyebrows when someone says "oh, we are adopting a sibling group of 4" to join their 5 already at home. Where we don't inwardly say "oh, really?" when we meet a young lady who "gave up her real life" and moved to Africa to love orphans. This is the gospel in action. This is what love does. This is how we should live. It <i>should </i>be crazy.gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-7786556361997362942011-01-13T21:01:00.000-05:002011-01-13T21:01:17.374-05:00A Change?I first started this blog, way back in 2007, I realized that I wanted a separate place to keep my adoption "stuff" than on my <a href="http://gracelings.blogspot.com/">"regular" blog</a>. Not because adoption was such a separate part of my life... exactly the opposite: because it was quickly becoming my whole life. I wanted to be able to remind myself that I was still me, still a momma to Abigail, still a nurse... still me, through this whole process. I also wanted the adoption process info to be easily accessible to other adoptive parents who stopped by the blog.<br />
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It made sense at the time. I think it was the right thing at the time. It even made sense as this changed into a pregnancy blog to continue to keep it separate from my "regular" blog (although, by that point, I was rarely posting anything besides pregnancy stuff.)<br />
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But now, as I've come to realize that this blog is changing again (notice the different description I put up at the header?) and in light of the fact that I feel like God is drawing me to <a href="http://allthesereasons.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-iif-i-was-radica.html">live more radically</a>, I am really torn about keeping this blog separate from my daily life blog. Not that it's some big, radical thing to condense the two blogs, because it's not (although, it kind of feels like it is.) It's more about the idea that this call to orphan care is not just a "part" of me, separate from who I "really" am... this call to orphan care is as central to my identity as being a mom, or a wife, or a nurse, or any of those things that define me.<br />
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So I am really thinking about it. Condensing my two blogs. Moving this one over to my other one. Because adoption, birth, orphan care... I mean, more than anything else, they really do define me- they define the future me.gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-74844102375445107032011-01-13T00:08:00.001-05:002011-01-13T00:15:17.320-05:00What if I was radical?I was thinking in the shower (which is a great place to think!) today about <a href="http://online.worldmag.com/2010/12/29/the-american-church-and-adoption/">this article</a> over at World Magazine. The author basically says that if more pastors and church leaders would adopt, it would create more of a culture of adoption in the church. He writes "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Pastors tend to preach and teach about their interests and practices. And American Christians tend to apply the Bible to real life issues<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><em style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">after</em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>a pastor or recognized leader<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/23/my-take-why-my-church-rebelled-against-the-american-dream/" style="color: #bf1f24; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">stirs up interest</a>. So if church leaders would cast a practice-driven vision for orphan care, churchgoers likely would be challenged to participate in one of the most ancient practices of God’s covenant people (<a href="http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Exodus+22%3A22%3B+Deuteronomy+14%3A29%2C+16%3A11%2C+16%3A14%2C+24%3A19-21" style="color: #bf1f24; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Exodus 22; Deuteronomy 14, 16, 24</a>)." More specifically, I was thinking about the comments that followed that article, and the exchange <a href="http://bradley.chattablogs.com/archives/2011/01/when-pastors-an.html">over here</a>.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">People get tied up in the comments over what constitutes an "orphan" and if we are called to care for only orphans (no parents) or foster children as well... and the ways in which this is to be done (adoption through the state, private adoption, foster care, etc.) There was a lot of criticism of the foster/adopt system in the US (yes, it's broken) as well as several people who basically said "adoption and/or foster care is not my calling."</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Now, to some degree, I agree with all of this. But it also sort of seems like an excuse. I don't have everything sorted out in my head yet, but here are some of my thoughts:</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As a Christ-follower, we are all called to care for orphans (the fatherless, or, as I think of them- <a href="http://bible.cc/psalms/68-6.htm">those who don't have families</a>, which would include both "true orphans" and foster children) and widows. It's our job to figure out the exact nature of our call. For some, it is adoption and/or foster care. For others, it may be financially supporting another family's adoption. Maybe it's providing respite care, providing meals for adoptive/foster parents, or caring for the kids while mom and dad go on a date. Maybe it's providing care, love, and support to birth mothers as they make an adoption plan and after they go through the painful process of placing a child for adoption. Maybe it's coming along side a family in distress so that the children remain in that family in a safe and loving way. Maybe it's entering into a mentoring relationship with a child who is aging out of foster care to support and guide them as they enter the world of adulthood. Not all of us are called to adopt, but we are all called. And if we can't identify a way in which we are responding to the call, saying "we aren't called to foster/adopt" <em>is</em> just an excuse. You are called- find your way to fulfill that call.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">It's hard for me to believe, however, that there are not enough Christians in this country to adopt the 115,000 children who are available for adoption right now. I think there is some truth in the idea that Bradley presents; our pastors and church leaders should be making orphan and widow care just as much of a priority as other kinds of giving (tithing, missions, etc.) The church should have a culture of orphan (adoption/foster) and widow care as the norm. Although there are several that are doing this already, I don't think this is the true culture of most churches. And our pastors/leaders are the ones in a position to change that. Now, I don't believe that all pastors should adopt/foster, but I think they do have a responsibility to see how they are leading their congregation in this area. In addition to the ways mentioned above, pastors are in a unique position to council couples (in premarital classes and through other ministries aimed at couples) that adoption is part of God's plan, and may be part of God's specific plan for them. More often than not, it's not God saying "yes" to our desire to adopt--- it's us saying "yes" to God's plan for us to adopt! If we are constantly seeking God's plan and have our minds and hearts open to this, maybe we will hear more "YES!" from God in this area!</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The problem, though, is not that Christians aren't adopting or fostering. Sadly, it's a much bigger problem. It's not the global orphan crisis of 147 million orphans. It's not the AIDS crisis, or the natural disasters or the unethical government practices that is our problem. It's our hearts. Because adopting a child with severe RAD is a pretty radical thing to do. Fostering a child with severe medical needs is a pretty radical thing to do. Bringing an underweight, sickly, HIV+, African child into your affluent white home and then loving them as the beloved child of God that they are is a radical thing to do. We are called to live radically- to do the very things that make unbelievers anxious. We are called to live without fear, to live with faith that God's plan is the right plan, and He will equip us to carry out His work in this earth. But how many of us are actually living this way? <em>That</em> is our problem.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I <a href="http://allthesereasons.blogspot.com/2011/01/post-adoption-guilt.html">wrote before</a> about trying to figure out what my role is in orphan care. And as I was in the shower, I feel like God was telling me that the reason this is so confusing... the reason I don't know what it is that I am supposed to be doing... is because I haven't opened myself up to living radically. I'll be honest, when I've thought about my role in orphan care, what I really meant was which organization I should give my time and money to, or if there was a way that my training as a RN could be beneficial to orphans. But the needs are so great. What if God wants to call me to foster... to foster kids with medical needs... that would be pretty radical. What if God wants to call me to go and mentor young women who will soon be aging out of the system- for me, that would be pretty radical. What if God wants to call me to do something downright crazy and adopt a sibling group of teens from the waiting children domestically or internationally? That would be completely radical! Am I ready to say "yes" to what God is ready to call me to do? Am I ready to live radically?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I'll be honest: I'm not. And neither is John. Yet. But let's just pretend for a minute that we were part of a Body that had adoption/foster care as part of the culture. A church where those who were called to do something radical were supported and cared for financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually? Where there was a group you could turn to and say "This is so hard! I can't do it!" and they would turn around and not only <em>tell</em> you that you can do all things through Christ, but come over and bring you dinner and clean your house and give you some respite? What if that culture of caring for orphans and widows was so "normal" that the announcement of planning to adopt or foster didn't bring 546 questions about the process, but instead triggered a caring response from the Body to love and support you through each step of the process, offering encouragement when times were hard, finances when it was expensive, helping hands when you were stretched too thin, knowledge and expertise when you were dealing with situations beyond your experience, love when you felt like you had given all you had... what if?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">What if we <em>did</em> instead of said?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">What if we, as the Body, lived radically?</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">What if<em> I</em> was <em>radical</em>?</span></span>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-58880183902215480412011-01-08T11:28:00.001-05:002011-01-08T11:33:19.821-05:00Jonesin'<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHqAsmiGga7IVlEVxyOqPrGYB0iTMYOqaFPKlsxOp6GTq-sYtR8tvptmVsxwxbTe2zsh22YfBTKu3iZHt7oqSsvaxefZxs-47vgubbsav6JP0ORGtdRns-unpRLpdLZ7YVtT5gDTzZCuU/s400/DSCN5757.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="300" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://minus1project.blogspot.com/2010/06/our-adoption.html">Photo Source</a><br />
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</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div>I am seriously jonesin' for this tote, mug, car decal, and t-shirt (over at the <a href="http://minus1project.blogspot.com/">Minus 1 Project</a>). Seriously, one of the best adoption t-shirts I have seen.</div><div><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiW9gvK7DLP7U_zpGKvnhBt9HXLRFSQS96El8YfwISlpfNyVEJGYnksNTG2FEHnuQ9a7wpGCzOjQQ4Cged57CPnAzkCwh1Z8TvEDGA085DlRGdwvN7cby7kBuWsiB6G47w_mmQrFZLHm9k/s400/017.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="300" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.callingorphanshome.com/">Photo Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div><br />
</div><div>My girls got these t-shirt for Christmas from my sister, courtesy of <a href="http://www.callingorphanshome.com/">Calling Orphans Home</a>. Seriously cute. I wouldn't mind one of those either:)</div><div><br />
</div><div>What are <i>your</i> favorite adoption/orphan care fundraiser products?</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-8138465889688415062011-01-05T14:43:00.000-05:002011-01-05T14:43:13.764-05:00Post-Adoption GuiltWow. This is another post that I am cautious in writing, because it is possibly going to ruffle some feathers. As always, I am writing with a spirit of honesty about my own struggles, not judging others. <br />
<br />
Have any of you ever experienced guilt after giving birth to a child after completing an adoption? I don't know if I am explaining it right... Basically, I sometimes feel guilty for giving birth to another child, when I know there are so many children in the world (Ethiopia) that need families and who I would be more than willing to adopt. Don't misunderstand me; I know that John Andrew is the right child for our family right now, and moreover, I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to have a healthy and safe pregnancy and to have shared this experience with John and the girls. I love him immensely, and I cannot imagine a better baby. <br />
<br />
But it doesn't take away from the feeling that we <em>could</em> have... or <em>should</em> have... adopted. (Although, since we just had our first wedding anniversary on the 26th of December, we actually <em>couldn't</em> have adopted since we didn't meet the 2 year marriage criteria, but I digress...)<br />
<br />
I know that partially, these feelings stem from wanting to adopt again. I am not saying we are going to adopt again, but I would love to adopt again. It just may not be the right thing for our family. In that setting, still having a heart for orphans- especially those who are unadoptable- I am still trying to figure out my role in orphan care. As my husband's cousin said at our Christmas gathering... we are all called to care for orphans, so it's not a matter of <em>if</em> we are going to care for them, but rather <em>how</em> we are going to care for them. Adoption is a small piece of the <em>how</em>. But true orphan care is so much bigger than adoption. And I'm just not sure how I fit into that bigger picture of orphan care. I know my work with orphans isn't completed; adoption was not the end point for me- it was the beginning of a passionate love affair, to be honest.<br />
<br />
I think part of the guilt is also related to the incredible <em>expense</em> of my pregnancy and birth, especially because of the complications/risks. That money (which, thankfully, was paid by insurance) would have been more than enough to complete an adoption (or 2- maybe 3.)<br />
<br />
Another part may be that, truth be told, I didn't and still don't love the <em>process</em> of adoption... the paper chasing, the waiting, the uncertainty, the fears, the unknowns, the unpredictable nature of international adoption. In contrast, I loved being pregnant (except the heartburn.) I guess maybe I feel like knowing and expressing my joy in the pregnancy process somehow makes the adoption process seem less... fulfilling? or desirable? Which is silly, because while I am not sure I would want to be pregnant again, I would more than love to adopt again! I know this about myself- and I know that I don't view either adoption or pregnancy as "better" than the other, but I think the preference within myself leads to part of the guilt.<br />
<br />
What do you think? Have you experienced this? Am I just crazy and hormonal?gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-71298027982474965602010-10-28T15:26:00.000-04:002010-10-28T15:26:22.057-04:00Introducing...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4xC8xrP7IQswty0t4kwFPICtd7nZvBe9ttkAD_Wwmm0kd83o5OivrudQaXZxtZHQpym6I-_M0ckHw4MfnaTlBLJf9AMW_UtO8q90GT2DNqd7QkHuMvDTQgaqJUc9L4kSxen8F4QjGSM/s1600/securedownload.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4xC8xrP7IQswty0t4kwFPICtd7nZvBe9ttkAD_Wwmm0kd83o5OivrudQaXZxtZHQpym6I-_M0ckHw4MfnaTlBLJf9AMW_UtO8q90GT2DNqd7QkHuMvDTQgaqJUc9L4kSxen8F4QjGSM/s320/securedownload.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">John Andrew Wesley Showalter</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sunday, October 17, 2010</div><div style="text-align: center;">6:53pm</div><div style="text-align: center;">7 pounds 10 ounces</div><div style="text-align: center;">18.5 inches</div><br />
We call him John Andrew or Andrew.<br />
<br />
He is a fantastic baby, and we are all doing well:) I was able to have a natural labor and am feeling pretty good, all things considered! Not quite up to blogging much, especially since my computer is not working properly. More pictures coming soon (or as soon as my computer starts working!)<br />
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</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-16055259369528565212010-10-16T15:01:00.000-04:002010-10-16T15:01:17.558-04:0038 Week BumpdateI am still pregnant.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgKzGi3xzfsZVmq3Ri9jiOrjaZdjg9X6nJcxEcnCk3hgE4keDHocw6CcdLjJrfmcwlhRSFgE7OfK9v1pp9cgBsiBtYmvntAiqC2FcnCw7jCAX5nTFFxylaxuVHtYnHhPaVSjsRnNwoEmE/s1600/38+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgKzGi3xzfsZVmq3Ri9jiOrjaZdjg9X6nJcxEcnCk3hgE4keDHocw6CcdLjJrfmcwlhRSFgE7OfK9v1pp9cgBsiBtYmvntAiqC2FcnCw7jCAX5nTFFxylaxuVHtYnHhPaVSjsRnNwoEmE/s320/38+weeks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAfe_KmOexD4EcCGQTNbKxBrB4yAMvgxfm6z6xcXzVg5CtqnTPOXcyYBgFJjcFctLoq1ux5zQzdAr0CppXHQQjXxLMrT5Agy3xJQqTZ0vKipdojCRDptKDMKt7550sDkHOqwNFiOBqA4/s1600/38+weeks+front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAfe_KmOexD4EcCGQTNbKxBrB4yAMvgxfm6z6xcXzVg5CtqnTPOXcyYBgFJjcFctLoq1ux5zQzdAr0CppXHQQjXxLMrT5Agy3xJQqTZ0vKipdojCRDptKDMKt7550sDkHOqwNFiOBqA4/s320/38+weeks+front.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Still.<br />
<br />
At my OB visit on Thursday, I had lost about a pound. At least I am not gaining, right? The baby was measuring perfectly, with a heart rate in the 150s, so there are no concerns. If I haven't had the baby by next week (39 weeks) they will do an internal exam to see if things are progressing yet. Hmmmm.<br />
<br />
I had the girls with me at the OB. They said they had questions for the doctor... Abigail asked when the baby will finally come out (don't we wish we knew?) and Anna asked why the baby is giving me heartburn. I'm not sure if this was because I have been complaining of heartburn a lot, or if it was somehow related to Abigail talking about the fetal Doppler (the machine to measure the heart rate) and the "heart rate" which Anna took to mean "heart burn." At any rate, the doctors didn't answer either question with any conviction:)<br />
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I am feeling good- except for the whole waddling, swollen feet thing. Actually, my left foot is very tender, and John is wondering if I possibly broke some toes. I decided to just grin and bear it, because really, what is the treatment for broken toes? Um, an x-ray to diagnose the problem (which I am not going to get right now, anyway) and at most a non-weight-bearing boot (which I am not going to wear in labor anyway) so what's the point? So, other than my toes, I am feeling good.<br />
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The kitchen saga is mostly done... but not all the way. We are still missing a cabinet that is on indefinite back order. So yesterday they came out and installed everything else and a temporary "filler" cabinet so that I could at least get things put away and clear off the kitchen table. I am working on that today, and as soon as John moves the borrowed microwave out to my car, I will be able to finish clearing off the kitchen table. Tomorrow we can sit at the table for meals. This will definitely be a step in the right direction. Then a few more boxes moved to the basement, and I think we will be in pretty good shape.... except that my <a href="http://www.target.com/Shark-Steam-Pocket-Mop/dp/B0028MB3HM/ref=sc_pd_gwvub_2_title">Shark</a> has stopped working and I really need to get down and scrub my floors (which is sooooo not happening!)<br />
<br />
I have my last few shifts scheduled for work next week... a total of 12 hours (three 4-hour shifts.) John has finished his mid-terms/final and is working tonight and tomorrow night, followed by a full day of work on Monday (with just a few hours of nap on Monday morning) and his birthday dinner Monday evening. Then he plans to recover from his sleepless weekend on Monday night and catch up on some work on Tuesday, and we will also get our first delivery of cloth diapers... so really, Wednesday is the idea time for me to have the baby (10/20/10). Maybe it will happen, right?gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-34806321225036929942010-10-09T13:22:00.000-04:002010-10-09T13:22:59.000-04:0037 Week Bumpdate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz4EUWEZYecmTqSLfMjdFEZR_XYVtCDWjHPddwk-ZMEupUAVxD3kYM-gMIPenGDIctvLRQgrn78gH1LIdvP2Pw1Dip0Xw0oPcTh4AoNBmgE1qeV5t7c-TReEkyN1eo8aDX9ZBxbj3dsZU/s1600/37+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz4EUWEZYecmTqSLfMjdFEZR_XYVtCDWjHPddwk-ZMEupUAVxD3kYM-gMIPenGDIctvLRQgrn78gH1LIdvP2Pw1Dip0Xw0oPcTh4AoNBmgE1qeV5t7c-TReEkyN1eo8aDX9ZBxbj3dsZU/s320/37+weeks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Is it just me, or has my belly not changed that much in the past 2 weeks? I feel like I get bigger every day, but when I look at the pictures, this belly is not any bigger than my <a href="http://allthesereasons.blogspot.com/2010/09/35-week-bumpdate.html">35</a> or <a href="http://allthesereasons.blogspot.com/2010/10/36-week-bumpdate.html">36</a> week bump.<br />
<br />
Guess how much weight I gained in the last week? Remember, I gained four pounds from week 35 to week 36....<br />
<br />
So, just guess...<br />
<br />
Okay, you are not going to guess right, so I will just tell you. I lost half a pound. (My friend says when you start losing weight, it means the baby will come soon...???)<br />
<br />
Anyway, I celebrated that by eating half a box of mini Oreos and going out for dinner last night that included cheese fondue, 3 layer chocolate cake, and lots and lots of homemade rolls. So much for keeping up the no-gain/a little loss trend, eh?<br />
<br />
Other than that, I have been feeling pretty well. Heartburn, of course, but even that has improved since I went to the chiropractor twice this week (I was so out of whack.) My feet are still swollen, although my compression socks do help. When I wear them. They also have been giving me a rash, so it's been a toss up between the swollen feet and the itchy legs. Sometimes you just can't win. I do have this funky toe pain in my left foot, middle 3 toes. John says he thinks it is from the swelling putting pressure on the joints. Go away, swelling!<br />
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I have made virtually no progress on my to-do list for the baby, although I have made a small amount of progress in just getting the house put back together/recovering from having the kitchen fixed (since the contractors still don't have my cabinets installed, we are not getting terribly far...) The bag is packed, though, so we are all good:) It's strange to think that this was the milestone that marked Abigail's entrance into the world... and yet, it could still be a few weeks before the Nugget arrives.<br />
<br />
I've seen a few tiny babies recently (at stores, ballet class, etc), and I am feeling kind of overwhelmed about the fact that we will have a tiny baby home with us very soon. I know they don't stay tiny for long, and I am pretty sure that caring for a newborn is a lot like riding a bike- it just comes back to you- but I still am feeling a bit unprepared and... not scared, exactly... more like nervous.<br />
<br />
It's interesting. A few weeks ago, someone was mentioning that I would soon be giving birth, and they asked me if I was scared (of labor.) I'm not. Nervous, anxious, and excited- yes. Scared? Not a bit. But at the same time, people always ask if I am excited about the baby. The baby seems to me to be a much more appropriate topic to ask if I am nervous about, not labor! Am I totally backwards? Labor just seems so straightforward. I mean, you have contractions, water breaks, you push, and it's over. Done. It's the whole baby thing that is totally unpredictable:)<br />
<br />
Anywho... Do you want to play a game?<br />
<br />
We have been keeping the baby's name secret. Want to try to guess it? I will give you a hint: both the girl name and boy name we have chosen start with an "A." Would love to hear your guesses:)gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-63927806872762849122010-10-06T19:04:00.000-04:002010-10-06T19:04:14.065-04:00My OwnFrom <a href="http://muchhasbeengiven.blogspot.com/">Sarah's Blog</a>:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: medium "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #32527a; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;">As I drove 80-plus miles an hour because my baby was in pain and needed her Mama to fix her, I thought to myself, "If this isn't my child, then who does she belong to?" Seriously, if you ask me if I want "my own" kids that implies that the kids I have are not mine, and if they are not mine, can someone please tell me whose they are? If they aren't mine I am certainly going to a fair bit of inconvenience and enduring a fair bit of life disruption for children that belong to other people. They certainly appear to belong to me when one of them wakes me up screaming at 5 am or when one of them grabs both of my cheeks in her small little four year old hands, puts her nose to mine and and says "I love you, Mama" or when one of them calls for me from her darkened bedroom and says in her smallish two year old voice "Mommy, I want you. Sleep with me, Mama." From all I can tell practically speaking, they are mine. Two governments say they are mine and more importantly God says they are mine and will hold me accountable for what I am doing to raise them. So, dear friend, please don't ask me if my precious girls for whom I have rearranged my career, my social calendar, my sleeping schedule, my bathing rituals, my long-term financial plans and, generally speaking, the sum total of all my life goals are "mine". It should be obvious to you by now that they are and it breaks my heart when you ask that because these children are as "real" to me as yours are to you. They are my life as your birth children are to you and no child that comes from my body will ever have more status as "my own" than these daughters born of my heart."</span></span></span>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-33488603365343855842010-10-02T23:21:00.000-04:002010-10-02T23:21:20.858-04:0036 Week Bumpdate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidP6PiJocDi-_DVwfj40cnosKf2fN7D2XU36cvkhgYGE9Oyr78aAfBdJEXzPmd4zHTXzQB85AWJX5HgVXqoHCojACnWy3RyGwHGDtr4ZDF_kTjyPgDm6CtEz7653hPwueQGB0ybSuB4VU/s1600/36+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidP6PiJocDi-_DVwfj40cnosKf2fN7D2XU36cvkhgYGE9Oyr78aAfBdJEXzPmd4zHTXzQB85AWJX5HgVXqoHCojACnWy3RyGwHGDtr4ZDF_kTjyPgDm6CtEz7653hPwueQGB0ybSuB4VU/s320/36+weeks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have gained 54 pounds in this pregnancy. I try not to think about that. And I really try not to think about loosing that.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">At my check-up on Thursday, everything went well. Baby sounded good, I measured perfectly, and they did the Group B Strep test... I thought this was an internal swab (like a Pap), and would therefore give them the opportunity to check out my cervix, but it's just an external swab. They offered to take a peek at things for me, but really, who wants an internal exam if they don't have to have one? I declined. So I have no clue what my cervix is doing. I'm okay with that. Even if it was doing something, it really has no bearing on when I will go into labor or if my cervix would continue to dilate "normally," so really, what's the point in finding out?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have been having horrible heartburn, though. And a few times I have had this overwhelming sense of "I am going to vomit RIGHT NOW" come over me out of nowhere (thankfully, there is not been any actual vomiting.) So I am not sure what is going on, but that is not fun.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I also have swollen feet and toes that look like sausages. It started on Friday when I had to drive my mother-in-law's minivan down to Philly. I was so scrunched up in the driver's seat that my knees were literally hitting my belly when I moved my foot between the gas and the brake. 5 hours in that cramped position was enough to give me pitting edema in my feet. I kept them elevated during the evening as much as I could, and by this morning, the swelling had gone down significantly (but not entirely gone.) Then I spent the day running errands in the minivan (John had my car, and his mom had his car...), playing with the kids, cooking, cleaning, and driving 40 minutes to Abigail's cheerleading... well, puffy feet are back with a vengeance. Trying to elevate again, but it's just not working. I think I will buy some more compression socks to help with that. Thankfully, I really haven't had much swelling otherwise. But I do need to get it to go away before I head to work for 3 days in a a row next week... if my feet stay this big, I am not sure I will be able to get my sneakers on!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am down to my last few baby-related errands... need to get the car seat base installed in my car and the MIL's minivan, finish packing Abigail's hospital stuff and snacks/vending machine money for John in the hospital bag, add the <a href="http://www.viacord.com/">Viacord</a> kit to the hospital bag, and just generally get my house cleaned up. That last one would be a lot easier if the contents of my kitchen were not spewed across my living room and play room while the contractors (finally) fix the flooring, cabinets, appliances, and paint from our minor kitchen fire back in August (yeah, I could have predicted that it would take nearly 2 months to fix...) Then it's just a matter of waiting until after the 20th. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">17 days to go to my ideal delivery date! 28 to go to my due date! Yea!</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-38559466503486418622010-09-25T20:31:00.000-04:002010-09-25T20:31:01.347-04:0035 Week Bumpdate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm-YVomHP4GEFGtdq98oBrMiwb4JySCtT4Oz_qwHi7wHSSu38Eit9TxTiWg2NLFLx7wF3ts9yi96ZooeguTtzsnPcOCrhz_vZdN7bhUR3N-KJdYmI7n_OXo6j9m_DTp8ZhWhZWFMWOgFA/s1600/35+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm-YVomHP4GEFGtdq98oBrMiwb4JySCtT4Oz_qwHi7wHSSu38Eit9TxTiWg2NLFLx7wF3ts9yi96ZooeguTtzsnPcOCrhz_vZdN7bhUR3N-KJdYmI7n_OXo6j9m_DTp8ZhWhZWFMWOgFA/s320/35+weeks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
35 weeks. 5 more to go, maximum. Only 3.5 weeks to my goal of 10/20/10 (how fun would it be to have the birthday 10/20/2010?) The end is in sight.<br />
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We had a little scare earlier this week... on Tuesday morning I went in to L&D to get checked out. I wasn't feeling the baby move very much, and my fundal height was measuring small (much smaller than it had been at my doctor's visit.) These were the same issues that led to the emergency induction at 37 weeks with Abigail. We still don't know for sure what caused the issues in my pregnancy with Abigail, so I am a very aware and vigilant to monitor for those same issues this time around. If we don't know what caused it, we don't know that we have "fixed" or prevented it in this pregnancy, you know?<br />
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Anyway, things checked out great: I had a non-stress test for the baby, and Nugget had appropriate heart rates the whole time. I started feeling more fetal movement, and a quick ultrasound showed an appropriate level of amniotic fluid as well as showing that the baby was head down! It was really reassuring.<br />
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Not so reassuring was the weight on the scale at my routine OB visit on Thursday... I am half a pound short of the 50 pound mark. Sadness. Especially since it is all in my butt and thighs. :(<br />
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I will be going to the OB weekly now until the baby comes. Next week is the vaginal check (maybe I am dilating?) and the group B strep test. Bliss.<br />
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In non-medical news, I started packing my hospital bag today. What did you pack that was a life-saver? What was a waste of time/space? Did you pack anything special for dad or older siblings?<br />
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I have my stuff pretty well figured out... I am mostly packing sweats for after the delivery, since they are so forgiving. I read today that when you leave the hospital, you are about the same size you were at the 5-6 month mark. Here I was at the 21 and 24 week mark...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT44HCZNrkfcCqVQVy7QxfpHN0pqkMk2OJAi3pJpRhswzQk0fcqK480-25s1MtCeISlm5ad9MC4ziHq_StEYdNpcN7xaPXXkNHp5PYttnPYBYDxtzVHN1JLQOvOs1Oh3AebXBjvIeVkVA/s1600/21+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT44HCZNrkfcCqVQVy7QxfpHN0pqkMk2OJAi3pJpRhswzQk0fcqK480-25s1MtCeISlm5ad9MC4ziHq_StEYdNpcN7xaPXXkNHp5PYttnPYBYDxtzVHN1JLQOvOs1Oh3AebXBjvIeVkVA/s320/21+weeks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2COf1-KTz6g6LOlmFJlESiosVa0ZBtS49FPnPYlyssOK3SPneTA3Yk_Hvo9OeGtWh0zyRt2UvrB-Yj7V1uQn_Uq2SfHG-x-Yrgw8vw9jeNGHz72ndJXKpt3xve5nBWO8HEz_S9jSWJHE/s1600/24+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2COf1-KTz6g6LOlmFJlESiosVa0ZBtS49FPnPYlyssOK3SPneTA3Yk_Hvo9OeGtWh0zyRt2UvrB-Yj7V1uQn_Uq2SfHG-x-Yrgw8vw9jeNGHz72ndJXKpt3xve5nBWO8HEz_S9jSWJHE/s320/24+weeks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
If I leave the hospital looking like that, I will consider it pretty darn good:) John and I were talking about how I should do "deflation" pictures... a picture each week of how my belly is shrinking and returning to normal. Which would probably be a good motivator, but perhaps a bit embarrasing? But who am I kidding- you all (few) who read this blog know all my crazy/embarassing stuff anyway:)<br />
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The girls at work were commenting that they thought I had "dropped"... as one of them said "you actually can tell the difference between the boob bump and the belly bump now!" I guess I no longer have the uniboobelly? I don't feel like I have "dropped" at all (especially right now, when it feels like Nugget is using a vice to separate my rib cage.) But maybe with the baby head down, I am carrying a little differently. What do you think?gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-52155678788923695912010-09-25T14:03:00.000-04:002010-09-25T14:03:10.400-04:002 YearsOops, I meant to post this yesterday, but then I started having contractions, and I got a bit distracted....<br />
<br />
2 years ago yesterday, my mom, Abigail, Anna and I landed in DC; Anna had been sick on the flight, and my mom and I had not slept at all. John met us at the airport, and on the way home Anna had her first taste of french fries and milkshakes. My sister flew in and arrived at my house shortly after we did. It was a surreal day.<br />
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And in the world of adoption milestones, that day will always be the day I consider our first "Family Day." <br />
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Of course, I had met Anna in Ethiopia 10 days earlier, but it was the milestone of having the four of us together- John, the girls, and I- that makes the 24th of September so special. At the time, John and I were dating- not even engaged yet- but when I look back, that is the day that our family finally felt right. Even though I had been worried it would be the day that our family turned terribly "wrong."<br />
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John and I were dating for less than a year before I started the adoption process; it was a hard time for him when I announced that I planned to adopt a child. There were a lot of things that made it difficult for him, one of which was the feeling that I was planning a future without him in it, and another of which was the feeling that adoption was simply not a fit for him. In my defense, I didn't realize that he was as committed to our relationship was he was at that point, and I didn't think we were at the point of planning a future together or making decisions together. In the end, we ended up breaking up for a while, with the adoption being one of the major issues that we couldn't resolve. Eventually, John decided that he wanted Abigail and I in his life, even if it meant also adding another child to the mix... although he was pretty convinced that he could never love that child the way he loved Abigail.<br />
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But when Anna came home, I knew. I mean, I knew all along that Anna was supposed to be in my life, but when Anna and John finally met, I knew that she was supposed to be in his life- and he in hers. As she started to come out of her shell and open up more, it became so blatantly obvious that Anna and John were 2 peas in a pod that even his extended family and friends commented on it. When John proposed to me less than 3 months after Anna came home, I knew it wasn't just that he wanted to marry me- he wanted to make us a true family and be Daddy to Abigail and Anna because he loved each of them in their own right, as well.<br />
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I am a month away from giving birth to the child that John and I have made. I look at our family, and I see how Abigail is my mini-me, and Anna is John's child in every way, shape, and form; I can't wait to see how the next one will turn out. The celebration of Anna joining our family is intricately linked to the joy of being married to John, because in a lot of ways, she could have been the reason we didn't end up together, but in the end, Anna was the piece of our family puzzle that sealed the deal on our love. And as we celebrate how lucky we are to have her in our lives, it seems so natural that we should be ready to start celebrating the newest addition to the family. Because that's what family is all about- growing and changing and becoming and being loved through it all.gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-87496212676179931952010-09-20T22:04:00.000-04:002010-09-20T22:04:37.863-04:00Bumpdate 34 Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" qx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mTml1lg03_4iYcM-e0iKGnnLZrqCR_rU3bZk9NR6frjfiYlmtVNZjn5kAX9HMGjewNWA5LodS8po8ANjkVrPfKH7-oaN8FkZ08GTg-855kSBtZGv5dy3olXQy2_LUc7OMLRMEESZ_UY/s320/34+weeks+bnaked+belly.jpg" /></div>So, there it is. My 34 week belly. (For better shots of the belly, go <a href="http://gracelings.blogspot.com/2010/09/belly-bump-photo-shoot-previews.html">here</a>. And then go <a href="http://www.wix.com/kristencharron/kristencharronphotography">here</a> to book a session!) I feel huge. All the time. And while I feel like I am waddling, John says that what I am really doing is just leaning back constantly while I walk, trying to create some backwards momentum to prevent myself from falling forward from the weight of my belly.<br />
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I guess from here on out, they probably wouldn't stop labor if I were to go into labor, but after looking at my schedule, John's schedule, and our parents' schedule, we've decided the optimal date for the baby to be born is October 20. In fact, we need the baby to NOT be born before the 19th, because John's schedule is just insane until then. So, while last week I was saying "Oh, I have 3-7 weeks to go!", this week I don't get to say "2-6 weeks." :( I am saying "anytime after October 20." Which, as of today, is 4 weeks and 2 days away. Gagh! But, I still could have 6 weeks to go. Boo!<br />
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I am having lots of low pelvis pressure, but I don't think the baby has "dropped" yet... I still feel the Nugget up in my ribs and need some sort of brace to hold my ribs together since it feels like the baby is trying to spread my ribcage apart. Other than that, I feel pretty good. Can't bend over comfortably, but that's to be expected. I am tired, but still have the energy to get stuff done, so I guess I am doing well! Once we get the car seat/ stroller assembled, we should be good to go.<br />
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I am starting to pack my hospital bag... anything I should make sure to take along?gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-39312114108735016322010-09-13T14:17:00.000-04:002010-09-13T14:17:33.627-04:00Bumpdate 33 Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg825p6NQCFh_Qp4iUCZIp5rLEWelxM0ChHYw4_bEB_UGmRFjwFxR4JRF4FTlIG1g0Jc_PTwhzEkwogb8_Nv5MF_bqysUD02dYZr656nz5ghJ4Z1dgIXSomiu5vbYbYQJrsVlOTIwHE02o/s320/33+weels.jpg" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I don't really feel like my belly has gotten any larger than last week, but I can see all my blood vessels more this week, as if the skin is being stretched further, so maybe. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On Thursday, we had our check up; everything continues to look good, measuring right on track:) We'll see the doctor again in 2 weeks, and then weekly until I pop. And I do kind of feel like it will be a "pop" rather than anything else. I kind of look like I have a balloon shoved in the front of my shirt since I am carrying all in front. My mother in law and husband continue to comment that I don't look pregnant from behind, except for the part where I am waddling:)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We got the crib set up yesterday, and this morning I finished setting up the "nursery." Since the Nugget will be hanging out in the guest room until we know if/when we are moving, there wasn't a lot of set-up to do. But the bedding is in, clothes are washed and put away, and the rocking chair has a new cushion on it. I am getting a few last things washed and put together, and then I won't have much to do in there until we get our first cloth diaper delivery in a few weeks.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I feel pretty good; the heartburn has been manageable, and I am sleeping very soundly, except for when I have to wake up and go to the bathroom. 4 times a night. Joy. Or when I have really strangely realistic dreams... like the other night when I dreamed that my water broke, and I got down on my hands and knees to clean up the mess while John stood there and laughed. Even in my dream I remember thinking that it was a typical doctor/nurse situation.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Maybe now that I have a working laptop again, I can get caught up on some of my blogging that I have been intending to do. Maybe not. We really could realistically have a baby in just 3 weeks! </div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-66692786043019435292010-09-06T22:57:00.000-04:002010-09-06T22:57:48.894-04:00Bumpdate- 32 Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuzvMcn7rT8AsGr3QJrTq9Vl27adGzJYykOWLprxhlvRFPqKwQ4Mghfh-QEykyM6u4nBYhpPXl9AX4s61eEU8zIwoaCNfOASrNurjn2tH9HXygPO4ablBTdRC7d1CalOQtobemOtyNbYI/s1600/32+weeks.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuzvMcn7rT8AsGr3QJrTq9Vl27adGzJYykOWLprxhlvRFPqKwQ4Mghfh-QEykyM6u4nBYhpPXl9AX4s61eEU8zIwoaCNfOASrNurjn2tH9HXygPO4ablBTdRC7d1CalOQtobemOtyNbYI/s320/32+weeks.bmp" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, guess what? It really sucks to have strep throat! Thank God that penicillin is safe in pregnancy! Also, did you know when you are pregnant, you are in a hyper-immune state, so your mild, never-actually-diagnosed allergies can turn into raging-holy-bologna-who-knew-I-could-produce-that-much-nasal-discharge allergies wherein you are convinced you might actually lose the ability to breath if you lay down and your nose drips like a leaky faucet while still being crazy-congested? Thank God Zyrtec is safe in pregnancy! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That pretty much sums up my week. Oh, except for the part where I fell really hard on Sunday and now my whole body hurts. All the time. (Thank God Tylenol is safe in pregnancy!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We see the doctor on Thursday, and will be taking our finalized birth plan (and FMLA paperwork, assuming I don't forget again!) to be placed in our chart. We will also take our birth plan with s to the delivery, since outpatient and inpatient charts don't mix at my institution.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hey, guess what else? Did I ever mention that there is a 90-95% epidural rate at my hospital? Yeah, I can't stop thinking about that. And the 5-10% who don't get epidurals are either the really high risk/emergency peeps who are done under general anesthesia or few who walk in with the baby practically falling out (at least in my limited experiences of working the post-partum side of things.) That has nothing to do with my 32nd week, but I just wanted to put that out there.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I need to sleep. Preferably while breathing at the same time. Grrrrr.</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-79276763035177304832010-08-30T21:01:00.000-04:002010-08-30T21:01:50.466-04:00Bumpdate: 31 Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXTl1AqLM6KB8qBu1MnoD8Ya2SGEPLABXv-qKoApHs8EJnskvaUwvLQuchBzx-E9YMyrp-ypzN6Wd5Y0cWirVIi1uCaY1yB54ggvU2Biv7ZiY4GL7HA4wZSge72YvAxq0iVqK-Sopzb1c/s1600/31+weeks.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXTl1AqLM6KB8qBu1MnoD8Ya2SGEPLABXv-qKoApHs8EJnskvaUwvLQuchBzx-E9YMyrp-ypzN6Wd5Y0cWirVIi1uCaY1yB54ggvU2Biv7ZiY4GL7HA4wZSge72YvAxq0iVqK-Sopzb1c/s320/31+weeks.bmp" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I continue to be amazed that I feel as well as I do... honestly, this seems to be a much easier part of my pregnancy than the first and second trimesters. I know part of it is that my stress level with regard to viability and such has decreased tremendously, and continues to decrease with each passing day. I think another part of it is that the chest pain and shortness of breath have totally gone away... John and I were talking about this, and we think that maybe the original high-risk OB that we saw had it right: my heart just needed extra time to adjust to the physical changes that were happening in my body. This idea is reinforced by the fact that the swelling in my feet/ankles has gone away, too. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Anna and Abigail are getting more and more excited about the baby coming... Abigail loves telling all her friends about her soon-to-be sibling, and Anna genuinely seems to want the baby to come, asking daily if the baby can come yet. I figure if I go another 5 weeks, I am golden:) I really can't fathom making it to 40 weeks, but I guess stranger things have happened. Maybe because of all the anxiety I had about the baby coming too soon, I will end up going past my due date. Let me just go on the record as saying that if I am still pregnant in November, I will cry. And also probably participate in every known <a href="http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/natural-ways-to-induce-labor.html">home-remedy for inducing labor</a>:) Just kidding- I believe the baby will come out when he or she is good and ready, although I'm sure the hubs wouldn't mind if we tried certain methods... ;)</div><br />
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It's hard to imagine that we don't see the OB for another 2 weeks (at the 33 week mark, more or less). This is the longest stretch we have gone without seeing the doc since very early on in the pregnancy. It is kind of nice to have a break, especially since I know they will probably be a little more invasive at the next check up. It also gives us some time to work on our plans for birth control after the baby comes (very difficult to figure out when you can't take hormones, you're allergic to latex, and your anatomy won't cooperate with a diaphragm!), our finalized (ie- shortened) birth plan, and what we want to do about circumcision if we have a boy (one of us is for it, the other is not.)gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-25061889235891073072010-08-23T16:30:00.000-04:002010-08-23T16:30:43.870-04:00Thanks for sharing.Apparently, Abigail has been sharing her new-found knowledge about labor and birth.<br />
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At the dentist today, Anna asked if this doctor will help get the baby out. That was cute.<br />
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Thankfully, she waited until we were home to inform me that "first the baby comes out the 'gina, then the Daddy cuts the cord" (with accompanying "snip" motion with her fingers.)gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-6103004365765573712010-08-23T14:03:00.000-04:002010-08-23T14:03:50.033-04:00Bumpdates 29 and 30 weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMd7Zb0UWuwETuwHwBCExoSxJipMzccHf2_8M2IP_20VJUeM8PDfYIy52LqS_U7IdJUVomzSqPhBsdsvcBPeRLNBqiV9kmW6FWmBTDKVPdBQW3M6L1e8qvh1UTPwdUGHYkSPwLDIb7UVU/s1600/29+weeks.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMd7Zb0UWuwETuwHwBCExoSxJipMzccHf2_8M2IP_20VJUeM8PDfYIy52LqS_U7IdJUVomzSqPhBsdsvcBPeRLNBqiV9kmW6FWmBTDKVPdBQW3M6L1e8qvh1UTPwdUGHYkSPwLDIb7UVU/s320/29+weeks.bmp" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">29 week belly</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Jai, the young man my mom is friends with, recently asked for a belly photo with my face in it... he only sees the photos I email to my mom, and he said he had never seen my face! So, this is my best shot at a self-portrait of my belly with my face showing via iPhone technology. This is surprisingly more difficult than it seems, especially when you add in the fact that I stand on my tip toes to get these shots. I don't look very happy. Don't think I need to explain why:)</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">We had our 30 week visit on Thursday. Everything continues to look great, and we are hoping right along with the weight gain. I have now gained a total of 37 pounds during this pregnancy. The doctor is not terribly concerned... my diabetes screen is negative, my blood pressure is perfect, and even the swelling I was having earlier in my pregnancy has pretty much gone away. I am eating well, my lab work all looks great, and I <em>feel</em> good- much better than I did earlier in my pregnancy. Plus, I was up 48 pounds the day that they induced my labor with Abigail (at 37 weeks), but I was back in my non-pregnancy jeans when Abigail was 18 days old, and was 10 pounds <em>less</em> than my pre-pregnancy weight by my 6 week follow-up visit... all without dieting or exercising! Hopefully things will go that well this time, although the extra 8 years of age may make that a little more difficult. The doctor thinks that maybe I am just one of those people who gains a lot of weight with pregnancy (the "goal" weight gain for a woman of normal weight is 25-35 lbs.) My mom definitely gained a lot of weight during her pregnancies- maybe it's genetic:)</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I've started writing our birth plan. Initially, I didn't think that I would write a birth plan, knowing that the running joke in the OB department is "birth plan= c-section." But the more I thought about it, the more I decided I needed one, because there was no telling who would be on-service when I went into the hospital. It could quite possibly be a person we have never met (one of the risks of delivering at an academic medical center.) Plus, I don't want to have to think about telling anyone what I want when I am in labor, or explaining who our doula is or why Abigail is there. I want to be able to just focus on doing the work I need to do. So a birth plan seems to be the best way to communicate that.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">So far, a few of the highlights of our birth plan include:</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">1. Since we don't know the gender of our baby, we do not want the doctor/nurse to announce the gender at the time of birth. John and Abigail will be the first people to check the gender and make the announcement. Abigail is pretty excited about this:)</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">2. The exact phrasing regarding repair of any tear/episiotomy is "If it is necessary to provide stitches to repair a tear, please provide local anesthesia. <strong>Lots of it</strong>." It is in bold, just like that:)</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">3. John and Abigail will also cut the cord together.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">4. Abigail has requested that she be able to help with the baby's first bath and diapering the baby. Since this will be in our birth plan, it will be much more likely to happen:)</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">A lot of the other stuff is standard, run-of-the-mill natural childbirth language, which we are trying to edit down since I tend to be a bit verbose and have written this without a template. One other thing that we did was use the birth plan to "introduce" who will be present at the birth (me, John, Abigail, our doula- Heather, and John's mom, Elaine.) This will save us time, and also hopefully make the care team more comfortable with the inclusion of Abigail during labor/delivery. I made sure to put in the birth plan that we have talked frankly with Abigail and shown her graphic birth videos, as well as taught her medically/anatomically correct language so that they know how to talk to her if she were to ask a question. I mean, not all 7.5 year olds know that a baby is born with it's own special lotion on it's skin called vernix. Or that the baby has to open the cervix then come out the vagina to be born. But Abigail does!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirriIAqJbdvRfhs9udzhiPvf7mck0BPfhHytqoi54brIdFv7Mvt5qKzCsOpmgIdvv_45a16ghYB8BQxi900D92TraDLGlMXa-SWviS1O9pBsCCGrPTupFNMS04zEI4LKwkT7os1DUEMSY/s1600/30+weeks.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirriIAqJbdvRfhs9udzhiPvf7mck0BPfhHytqoi54brIdFv7Mvt5qKzCsOpmgIdvv_45a16ghYB8BQxi900D92TraDLGlMXa-SWviS1O9pBsCCGrPTupFNMS04zEI4LKwkT7os1DUEMSY/s320/30+weeks.bmp" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">30 weeks, 2 days belly</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Now that our niece has moved out of our guest room, we are ready to get the nursery ready. The nursery will still be our guest room as well, so we are not decorating or going wild with a theme. But, we do need to get the crib put up and get a diaper station set up. My mother-in-law, Elaine, threw a surprise baby shower for me this past Saturday at the nursing home where she and I work (Thanks again, Elaine!!!!), and with the lovely gifts we've received, along with items our family has given us and a few things we have purchased, I think we are pretty much set for a newborn. I am looking forward to getting all the little blankies and burp cloths and sockies washed, folded and put away in the dresser:)</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-63625460014400407012010-08-13T11:07:00.000-04:002010-08-13T11:07:49.547-04:00Bump Check- 28.5 WeeksI forgot to take a picture on Saturday of my week 28 belly. So here a photo from Wednesday:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwsDMxvn3_IBngDD7PoSNHGE5mWIDdPxxfBDCTW7LgAPKR6VqjZag_5la-8PkbeL3h52jMtakOlVIDoXieS0SZSSShLBPxcuCiKblnnzZSmcllPR8vBjerZPtL9l1GBplZEVf8j-uPUSE/s1600/28+and+a+half+weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwsDMxvn3_IBngDD7PoSNHGE5mWIDdPxxfBDCTW7LgAPKR6VqjZag_5la-8PkbeL3h52jMtakOlVIDoXieS0SZSSShLBPxcuCiKblnnzZSmcllPR8vBjerZPtL9l1GBplZEVf8j-uPUSE/s320/28+and+a+half+weeks.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Apparently, a prego woman in a bathing suit is somewhat of a novelty at our local pool, because all of Abigail's little friends were amazed, and I certainly got a few looks from the other adults, too. Oh well- I was too hot to care!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Of course, it didn't help that Abigail kept bringing her friends over and saying "Momma, stand up and show them how big your belly is! It's big because she has our baby in there!" And then all the other little girls were like "wow, your belly is huge!!!!!" And then they would stick out their (disgustingly flat) bellies and walk around saying "look, I have a baby in my belly, too!"</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">A friend of my mom's asked why you never see my face in these pictures. It's partially because I am not feeling particularly pretty, and partially because I usually try to take the picture as soon as I wake up in the morning, so that I don't forget to do it. My hair is wild and I still have red marks on the side of my face from the pillow. You really aren't missing anything. This particular photo was carefully framed by my loving husband to avoid showing my mascara running down my face and dripping hair, while also protecting the eyes of you, my gentle readers, from the cellulite that has taken up residence in my thighs. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>You're welcome.</em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">In other pregnancy news: we had a check up last week, and HOORAY! The doctor gave me permission to take Zantac for my heartburn. What a difference this has made! I can lay flat at bedtime! Woohoo!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">Everything else was looking good, and we are finally at that point when I am starting to feel relief... developmentally, 28 week babies do so well. But even more than that, I really feel like getting this far means that I am likely to go to term. (Although a 10/5/10, 10/10/10, or 10/20/10 baby would be fun:) I've started doing more of my "preparation" reading and tomorrow we are meeting with our Doula. John is finally at a place where he can also focus time and attention on learning to be a great coach and we can come up with a plan for after the baby arrives that will work for our whole family (breastfeeding a newborn can be a full-time job!)</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">I am working on a post on my <a href="http://gracelings.blogspot.com/">other blog</a> about why we don't believe in attachment parenting and also responses to why we are doing a natural childbirth (Bradley Method) and how and why we are working with our pediatrician on a modified immunization schedule. I am also going to write my very opinionated view of how to be successful with breastfeeding, and why on-demand feeding (the method recommended by the La Leche League) decreases your likelihood of success. Can you feel the drama brewing? </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">I feel a real urgency to get serious about preparing for the job of giving birth (which is a very taxing job) and parenting a newborn. So off I go to sneak in some more reading while the girls finish their morning chores:) Regularly scheduled bump checks should resume tomorrow!</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-5792400400725576422010-08-04T00:31:00.000-04:002010-08-04T00:31:06.440-04:00Dear NuggetDear Nugget,<br />
<br />
I love you and am trying to give you all the attention you need. I feed the cravings and drink all that extra water and even take those yucky prenatal vitamins just for you. Like your Daddy, I get it that you sometimes need more attention than I am giving you, and that makes you likely to take drastic measures.<br />
<br />
However, like your sisters have learned, kicking me so hard that it takes my breath away is not the best way to get my attention. In fact, hurting Momma is not very nice at all. You may not realize how hard you are kicking, but I am pretty sure it is hard enough to have kicked me a nice little hiatal hernia.<br />
<br />
Would you like to work on our communication skills so that you can figure out how to best get my attention without hurting me? Because I would like to do that, too.<br />
<br />
Love, <br />
<br />
Momma<br />
<br />
P.S. Feel free to kick Daddy to get his attention because; A: it totally works, and B: he thinks it's hilarious when Anna does it, so I'm guessing he will like being kicked by you, too.gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-3854532037494534762010-08-02T15:09:00.000-04:002010-08-02T15:09:23.713-04:00Brown Like Me...Disclaimer: This post does not contain any mind-shattering revelations about race or ethnicity. In fact, in the end, this post is pretty inconclusive. But this is what is happening in our lives, and I would love to have some respectful input from others who are parenting children of a different skin color.<br />
<br />
In our family, we have never focused much on the fact that Anna has brown skin. We readily acknowledge it, but we have never set out to point it out. We talk about colors and say that Anna's skin is brown and Abigail's skin is peach. But we also talk about Anna's brown eyes and Abigail's blue eyes, and the fact that both girls have pink lips and white teeth. It never really seemed to matter too much to Anna, and I really didn't want to push the idea of race on her before she was ready (although Abigail and I have talked about race quite a bit.)<br />
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Recently, though, Anna has been very excited when she sees other people who share her same skin tone. She is surprisingly accurate, too, pointing out people that are nearly the same skin tone as she is. "Look, Momma, she is brown like me!" Anna will exclaim, pointing at another little girl in line at W*lMart. She does not group herself with other Black children who are lighter in skin tone than she is- only those whose skin tone is within a shade or two of hers.<br />
<br />
We then talk about all the nice things about person that she sees. Sometimes the person is a child, and we talk about her awesome braids or cool beads or fun clothes. Sometimes it is an adult, and we notice other things, like their purse or hat or the fact that they have such a nice smile. Sometimes we do point out things that aren't nice (one time we watched a little girl Anna's age throw a fit and kick her mother. That went into the NOT NICE category.) Her awareness has opened a door for us to begin to talk about race in the most elementary ways with her.<br />
<br />
I am very sensitive to the way Anna is developing her ideas of race and her self-identity as a girl with brown skin whose family has peach skin. I want to help her create a healthy view of herself- one that is not limited or defined by the color of her skin, but also acknowledges and embraces her beauty as a Black child. I want her to be able to have a positive view that the color of her skin makes her unique in our family, but does not make her alone, isolated, or different. I also want her to be able to freely self-identify as an Ethiopian just as much as she does as an American or African-American. At the same time, I want her to be able to embrace the values and cultural norms that make our family <em>ours</em>. I don't know how to do this, and to be honest, I don't know if anyone <em>really</em> knows how to do this- there are a lot of theories, but very little that is <em>proven</em>.<br />
<br />
The other day we were at the salon getting Anna's hair braided. Abigail and I stick out like sore thumbs with our fair skin, but I love that place! I love that the ladies sit and talk and laugh and carry on- something that you don't really get in a typical "white" salon. I enjoy talking to all the ladies there, and I feel that there is mutual respect and friendliness between us. <br />
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While we were there, the Tyra Banks Show started, and the topic was <a href="http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/2009/07/skin_bleaching.php">skin bleaching</a>. I had heard of this practice, but really didn't understand it or think it was necessarily common. I certainly didn't think it was something that was practiced on children! While watching the show, Abigail and I were so upset! There were such lovely ladies and adorable children who felt the need to lighten their skin color because it was "better" in some way. Often, they could not even describe why they believed lighter skin was better, but a few described reasons such as getting more attention from the opposite sex, feeling more beautiful or being more conventionally beautiful, or believing that lighter skin was more socially acceptable or related to your ability to be successful. The mother of 3 young boys who uses bleaching creams on them daily said that she thinks lighter skin "makes a better presentation" and she felt it was important for them to have lighter skin to have people form a better opinion about them. The most troubling part was that these young children (ages 8, 6, and 4, I think) actually believed this about themselves!<br />
<br />
The ladies in the salon were horrified, but could understand why the women on the show felt the way they did. They didn't condone the behavior, especially not when the mom was putting bleaching cremes on her children, but they understood it... they had certainly heard comments to the effect of "it's better to have lighter skin." Or the infamous "she's pretty... for a dark-skinned girl." These thoughts were a new reality for me... sure, I had heard that these things happened, but I had never seen or experienced anything like it, even though I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood and had friends of all different skin colors. It is still blowing my mind, and I cannot wrap my head around what I even think about all of this, even weeks after the fact.<br />
<br />
So, why am I writing this post? Really, I am not sure. It is just so... much. I desperately want Anna to love the skin God gave her as much I do. I love her chocolaty skin, and the patina that makes her skin look like so soft and touchable. In fact, I think her skin is so much prettier than my own fair skin that shows every vein and blemish, and gets blotchy when I am cold or nervous. How do I help her see this and love this about herself, when apparently popular culture is sending the opposite message? Is it enough to talk about all the black women with dark skin that we admire? Are Michele Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, and Maya Angelou, not to mention historical figures like Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and Ruby Bridges enough? <br />
<br />
More importantly, how do we help change our culture? Because whether your child is the only brown-skinned child in your family or simply the darkest-skinned in a family of many brown-skinned people, they need to hear the message that they are beautiful just the way they are. And while popular culture is making some strides in this area (see: Grace Jones, Rachel Williams, Ajuma, Alex Wek, or Krista, the winner of cycle 14 of America's Next Top Model), the majority of black women who share Anna's skin color are not known for their beauty.<br />
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I don't know. And this post is getting rambly. So I will leave it at that.gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-42946822994598867212010-07-31T19:21:00.001-04:002010-07-31T19:21:57.109-04:00Bump Check- 27 weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO0l3Ymwcfo682wYVrLd_M8FityNoOEh6lCR26vslKBwCc6ERLWm0dKNVC-eZg1Kx9oK1lJpqjv8OWARBWUL3DhGnycmfaxT20nqUFXi6dl-JGsiDCq5IYQgS_q4aQJA71Y38VHMg6b_o/s1600/27+weels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" bx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO0l3Ymwcfo682wYVrLd_M8FityNoOEh6lCR26vslKBwCc6ERLWm0dKNVC-eZg1Kx9oK1lJpqjv8OWARBWUL3DhGnycmfaxT20nqUFXi6dl-JGsiDCq5IYQgS_q4aQJA71Y38VHMg6b_o/s320/27+weels.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This week has been all about the heartburn. Seriously. All day, all night. I get heartburn no matter what I eat or when I eat it. I get heartburn from drinking water! Sometimes, in the rare moments that I don't have heartburn, I worry that if I eat or drink anything, it will come back- so despite being thirsty, I don't drink anything. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It always comes back, no matter what I do, though. And nothing really helps. I've tried it all.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I will not miss the heartburn one bit.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Other than that, things are going well. I did my GluCola challenge on Monday afternoon, and we will find out the results at my appointment on Thursday. I also talked to Abigail about being in the delivery room; she wants to be there. We were torn at first, worrying that it is too graphic for a child, but then it occurred to me that I think one of the main things wrong with the way young girls are taught to view childbirth and even their own sexuality is that very little of it is based in reality. In other areas of the world, it is totally natural to have your children present at the birth of their younger sibling, especially your female children. I think this helps girls learn a healthier view of childbirth and sexuality than what they learn from popular culture.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In addition, Abigail is really fearful about me being in the hospital, so much so that if we didn't have contraindications for a home birth, we would strongly consider it. I am not sure why she is scared of the hospital, but my guess is that it has something to do with the fact that John and I talk about people dying at the hospital (it's a reality of our work.) The girls go for a "big sibling orientation" at the hospital in a few weeks, which will give the kids a tour of the L&D/post-partum area and talk about what to expect when I am in labor. I am sure this will help Abigail a little bit, but mostly, I think she will feel better knowing that she can keep an eye on me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We also have set realistic expectations for Abigail being at the hospital. We plan to bring a laptop and headphones so that she can watch movies while I am in labor. In fact, she will pack a bag, too- a "fun pack" of stuff to do, change of clothes, PJs, toothbrush, etc. We believe it's best if she is present but not necessarily "engaged" in the situation more than she is comfortable with... for instance, I don't think she needs to have the "doctor's view" of the delivery, although if she wants to, I don't care if she does (John and I call this the "natural sex deterrent.") We also have a plan so that if she decides she doesn't want to be in the room, she can leave. The idea is not to force anything. I think it will work well for Abigail- that's just the kind of kid she is. I don't think it would work well for Anna, even if she was older. That's just the kind of kid Anna is. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Recent name ideas from the girls include Hope (for either a boy or girl), and Christmas (for a boy, according to Anna.)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-784446856100995224.post-81292714942837696542010-07-26T14:07:00.000-04:002010-07-26T14:07:07.962-04:0026 Weeks Bump Check<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivcAWvtJ7W03KQAOFOMQroCQPu5hGyAvfT_szTdfKjCqQfUkrml3ObhVtWWo5UX_zg6O0Ef85omR-GcQjev38byfkB-uCqnegwDg8JVR__V63YuM3yVnI-HpBY0ynGEP6xt0OgBw6xihY/s1600/26+weeks.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivcAWvtJ7W03KQAOFOMQroCQPu5hGyAvfT_szTdfKjCqQfUkrml3ObhVtWWo5UX_zg6O0Ef85omR-GcQjev38byfkB-uCqnegwDg8JVR__V63YuM3yVnI-HpBY0ynGEP6xt0OgBw6xihY/s320/26+weeks.bmp" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">First, I need to clean our bathroom mirror.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Second, we hit the 26 week mark on Saturday, July 24. If I can make it another 10 weeks, I will be "term." If I can make it another 8 weeks, I will have exceeded expectations:) If I go another 6 weeks, I will be pretty satisfied that our baby will be healthy and have a relatively short NICU stay. (If I go another 12 weeks, I will basically have to try all those home remedies for self-induction!) The idea of going to term suddenly seems much more realistic and reachable.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Depending on who you talk to, the third trimester has started, is starting, or will start at the end of this week... it really feels like an accomplishment, while at the same time bringing with it a bit of urgency to make sure I have the basics ready (ie, crib, car seat, diapers, breast pump, clothes.) The baby is going nuts and actually woke me up this morning with some ferocious karate (Ross-style.) Nugget is approximately 14" long and weighs 1.5-2 lbs. I continue to sound more and more like a bowl of Rice Krispies with all the joints loosening and popping, although since I have not been working a ton, my back is not feeling too bad. My fundal height is still right on target:)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Big plans this week include work, and the wonderful <a href="http://www.mfm-evms.org/dm4diabetescreen.html">GluCola challenge</a>/3rd trimester blood work! I plan to do that this afternoon, as long as my stomach calms down a little. That stuff totally made me want to barf when I was pregnant with Abigail. Then again, everything made me want to barf when I was pregnant with Abigail, so I guess that is not a reliable predictor.</div>gracelinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12682893769698129746noreply@blogger.com1