Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wait List Delirium

I think I have wait list induced delirium.

Delirium is not a detachment from reality, but rather an altered interaction with reality. It's like- you are completely aware of reality, you are living in reality, but your interactions with reality (your interpretations and responses to reality) are tainted.

I know that I am experiencing wait list delirium when loosing my keys and being a few minutes late to work causes me to freak out. Or when my hands shake upon finding my phone and discovering that it was not thisclose to me during Gladney business hours.

And I am not the only person suffering from wait list induced delirium. Meredith of the Guzo variety describes herself as follows:

Anxious. Excited. Mind racing. Attached-to-cell-phone. Hopeful. Freaked Out. Crazed. Can't concentrate. Obsessively checking messages. Sleepless. %@&*!#!! = Me

A clear example of wait list delirium. But the wait list is not the only kind of delirium.

Jess may be suffering from court-wait delirium: she writes:

When I open the refrigerator for my daily morning yogurt, I peer at all of the expiration dates on the top shelf. Cottage Cheese….ooh expires June 2nd, that’s after my court date! Extra firm tofu…expires in August….way after my court date. Is that crazy or what???

No, Jess, it's not crazy, it's court-wait delirium.

Meredith might be suffering from paperchase delirium. She writes:

Oh, Alabama!
Where is my clearance letter?
I will punch you soon

Punching an entire state is not crazy, it is simply paperchase delirium influencing Meredith's view of reality.

So, in my wait list induced delirium, I have emailed my poor, sweet, patient caseworker, Jessica, 2 times in the past 2 days. Over silly things- things that are not really all that important, but that have made me freak out. I feel bad for her- she must get an awful lot of crazy thrown at her each day. Although, as I told her at the end of my last delirium-induced email:

I know I am probably over-reacting and succumbing to the "wait list delirium;" I probably just need to take a chill pill, but sadly, my hospital won't dispense those to the nurses, only to the patients! (I am becoming that wait-lister that I never wanted to be, but man, who knew the wait list would affect me this way? It's like the crazy cravings of pregnancy- you think they won't happen to you, you think you can predict them, and in the end, the hormones run wild and you end up craving Spaghetti-Os and canned spinach. Well, at least I did.)


Rebecca said...

I so hope you get your referral soon. You'll be in a state of ecstasy and then move quickly into the court wait delirium :)

nebraskaridge said...

I sympathize with your delirium - my heart races every time the phone rings since we don't have caller id - then it's just my husband, or a telemarketer, or my mother asking why we don't have a referral yet! The last 3 weeks have been the hardest - seeing others receive their referrals even though you're "next" on the list. I've only emailed Mary once this month because I don't want to be "that" crazy waiting mom. But I can only hold out so long!! Thanks for the verses that remind me to turn to God, who is ultimately in control of when we receive our babies.

Amy R.

Anonymous said...

I email Mary all the time over stupid stuff. I figure one of several things could happen: 1) they sure won't forget who I am 2) they'll get so tired of hearing from me they'll give me a quicker referral or 3) (please don't let it be #3) They'll give me all our money back and say, we can't take it anymore, go somewhere else.

But things come into my head and I think, "I sure don't want 3 months going by and then this to come up and there be confusion", so I send out an email for clarification. So far, she has been more than patient. Hope she will continue to be.


Chris & Jess said...

Thank you for giving me a much needed belly are hilarious!!!! And thank you for identifying my craziness with a diagnosis...I will now tell Chris I have CDD. Court Date Delirium.
Soon you'll be a victim of CDD too!

m&r said...

Now I would normally be insulted if someone suggested that I was suffering from delirium, but since we're talking "wait list induced" delirium and it's coming from someone who I know can empathize with me... well, then I'm happy to be in such good company during this crazy-making time. ;)

elj377 said...

I laughed out loud at the spaghetti-o's and canned spinach comment! Sorry for your WLD...will continue praying!

Meredith said...

Girl,I can't imagine. Paperchase delirium is nothing compared to wait list delirium I bet. Please please please Grace do the "Dirty Butt Dance" at some point for your blog friends! I am stalking your blog like a mad woman right now just so you know. Blog stalking delirium?

Missy at Its Almost Naptime said...


(look at the Old Grace Blog I never knew about!!)