The following is a rant, pure and simple. I will probably offend you, and if you think that is possible, don't read this, because I don't really want to offend you. I just want to tell it like it is, so to speak, and weigh in on some of the present issues in Ethiopian adoption. So, basically, read at your own risk.
Adoption- especially international adoption- is not for sissies. And it is really not for people who choose to not inform themselves about the process (and the potential for changes in the process) before hand. And it is super not for people who choose to believe that when a government changes it's policies, it is specifically directed at the individual.
I am really frustrated right now... there have been some policy changes (not surprisingly) during the court recess in Ethiopia. And now a lot of families are finding that their cases will be delayed. For some of them, they will be delayed again... months of delays, months of missing those milestones, months of empty arms.
I am so sad for these families- I cannot imagine how horrible this feels, and I am praying for you all. I had the pleasure of meeting several of your babies, and I cannot imagine anything more wonderful that you being united with your precious ones. I am so sorry, and I wish there was more that I could do.
But, to you, the one who incessantly complains- to you I say... GROW UP! This is not about you. This is not about Gladney (and in fact, Gladney is awesome!) This is about a policy change, and only a policy change.
I know it sucks to not be with your child... I know you have to re-adjust your expectations. But here is the thing- your words make it obvious that you have a lot of growing up to do before you can teach your child how to properly behave in discouraging and disappointing circumstances, because you need to learn it first. And maybe this is God's way of teaching you a few lessons.
If you stopped complaining about how you never get your way, maybe you could learn a thing or two about those who truly don't have hope. If you stopped focusing on what you want and when you are going to get your wants fulfilled, maybe you can learn about meeting the needs of others (this is what being a parent is about, especially when your kids are young.) And if you stop complaining about your situation (which, in the grand scheme of things, is not that bad) and started looking at the truly horrible things that are happening in this world, maybe you would be able to put this situation into perspective, and move forward into a place that is less about you and more about benefiting those around you (ahem, again, this is the crux of parenting- it's NEVER about YOU!)
My sister and I were g-chatting about this issue yesterday, and of course, the question she asked is "Why?" Why the policy changes? Why the lack of notification? Why the last-minute scramble now on the part of Gladney?
Why? Because... This Is Ethiopia. (T.I.E.) This is the way it goes. And the only thing we can do is accept it, or move on. Adopting from Ethiopia is a choice- it is not forced on you. And you can either accept that things may change from what you anticipate, or you can move on.
I know this is easy for me to say, sitting on the "completed" side of the adoption cycle, but more than anything, this is a good lesson to learn about life. Because, really, this is life. And there are always situations that are beyond your control- situations that disappoint and hurt and frustrate and anger you. And you can either accept that those situations exist and deal with them, or you can choose to move on in your life to a place where you don't deal with those situations- you can remove yourself from them.
Make the choice. And then deal with it.
And for goodness sake, stop complaining all the time!