November is National Adoption Month and I am going purple for adoption!
November is the month set aside to raise awareness of the adoption of children and youth from foster care. This year's theme is "you don't have to be perfect to be the perfect family."
Boy, isn't that the truth. If I had to be perfect in order to adopt, the Good Lord knows I never would have been able to bring Anna home. But thankfully, perfection is not required. And our little family is so perfect together. And I am so thankful (another good November theme:)
Showing posts with label reasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reasons. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
92
The 2008-2009 court season is over in Ethiopia.
The FBI has record of 92 families who passed court in the past year. 105 children who were (or will shortly be) placed with families. Even more Gladney families and more children that weren't tracked by the FBI.
This warms my heart.
The worldwide problem of children without families is not going to be solved by 92 Gladney families. Placing 105 children into US homes does not make life easier for the other millions around the world. There is no easy solution to finding the love, stability, and families these children deserve.
But this is a start. And I am proud to have been a part of it. Even in this small way.
The FBI has record of 92 families who passed court in the past year. 105 children who were (or will shortly be) placed with families. Even more Gladney families and more children that weren't tracked by the FBI.
This warms my heart.
The worldwide problem of children without families is not going to be solved by 92 Gladney families. Placing 105 children into US homes does not make life easier for the other millions around the world. There is no easy solution to finding the love, stability, and families these children deserve.
But this is a start. And I am proud to have been a part of it. Even in this small way.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Reason #19- When I am old...
My grandma. She likes things just so. And with her age, wisdom, and children to fawn over her, she often gets things just so.
My mom and my aunt take care of my grandma. I mean, she does her thing, but they make sure she does things. They take care of her. And when the time comes that she needs more care than a few meals cooked or motivation to go out and do something, they will do that, too. Because that is how they were raised.
And that is how I was raised. And that is how Abigail is being raised. We take care of each other. That is what families do. It's so much easier to do it with someone, and there is no one better to do that with than your sibling. Because they are the only person in the world who will love your parent as much as you do.
And when I am old, Abigail and Sparrow will take care of me. And they will be glad they have each other to share the burden.
(Gonzer (my gramma) and my Aunt Sylvia)
My mom and my aunt take care of my grandma. I mean, she does her thing, but they make sure she does things. They take care of her. And when the time comes that she needs more care than a few meals cooked or motivation to go out and do something, they will do that, too. Because that is how they were raised.
And that is how I was raised. And that is how Abigail is being raised. We take care of each other. That is what families do. It's so much easier to do it with someone, and there is no one better to do that with than your sibling. Because they are the only person in the world who will love your parent as much as you do.
And when I am old, Abigail and Sparrow will take care of me. And they will be glad they have each other to share the burden.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Reason #18- Sisters, Revisited
Abigail has two identical pink poodle Webkinz. Except one had the seam on it's belly split open. So we asked Doctor John's mom, Elaine, if she could transform into a stuffed animal veterinarian and perform some surgery on the poor puppy, which she agreed to do.
Abigail: When my pink poodle gets fixed, I will have two pink poodles!
Me: Or, one for you and one for your sister!
Abigail: (pause) Um, well she can have that broken one.
All of the adults in the room broke into hysterical giggles. Oh, how true it is! Older sisters always have it figured out, and always know how to work it to their advantage (this coming from the younger sister.)
But there is just something so special about having a sister. Something that can't be put into words, but is known, is felt, is celebrated by everyone who has had a sister.
And what a gift for Abigail.
Abigail: When my pink poodle gets fixed, I will have two pink poodles!
Me: Or, one for you and one for your sister!
Abigail: (pause) Um, well she can have that broken one.
All of the adults in the room broke into hysterical giggles. Oh, how true it is! Older sisters always have it figured out, and always know how to work it to their advantage (this coming from the younger sister.)
But there is just something so special about having a sister. Something that can't be put into words, but is known, is felt, is celebrated by everyone who has had a sister.
And what a gift for Abigail.
Sisters: Grace and Faith, 2006
(How do you like my sunburn?)
Friday, March 28, 2008
Kids and Moms (and Dads)
By Erin H.
I have been thinking a lot about kids lately... kids who don't have moms (and dads)... kids waiting for moms, and what life is like for kids who do not have parents. I have been thinking about the transformation that occurs when a child realizes he has a mom, a dad, a family...security, love and somewhere to belong.
With some of our kids, that "realization" that they have a Mom and a family, that they have someone to belong to, someone to watch over them, someone to care for them and someone to love them, has been gradual. With some of our kids, there has been this "a ha!" moment, where you could just see that they "got it".
There was baby Maggie... almost four months old... laying on the bed in our hotel in Vietnam on our first full day together (I had been visiting her for days at the hospital before this point). Before her hospitalization she had lived in a government orphanage where the babies had their names written on their legs in black magic marker so they could be told apart, and got very very little personal attention. She didn't cry when she was hungry or when she wanted something. She was quiet and tiny, but I could tell she loved being held and loved the attention I was giving her.
I walked away from the bed where she was laying to get a bottle for her, and she made this teeny tiny pitiful (feeble attempt at a) cry, and I rushed over and picked her up and offered her the bottle. She got this look of amazement on her face with a little smile that seemed to say, "Holy cow! You mean that crying thing WORKS with you??" and after that she did not want anyone but me and always wanted me close. She got it. I was there for her. I was her mom.
With Mercy, she was nine years old. She had had a mom before, who did not value or respect her role as a mom. Mercy knew neglect and abuse and loss. Despite that, she came to us with an open heart and a surprising amount of trust. At one point during our first week, Des needed her hair washed (and Mercy had been the one to care for Des up until that point, even though she was only three years older). Mercy told Des to go into the bathroom so she could wash her hair, and I gently told Mercy that I could wash Des's hair, and reminded her that that was the kind of thing a Mom should do. The social worker had warned us that "letting go" of being the caregiver of Des might be hard for Mercy and we might have some power struggles over it... but Mercy looked at me and looked at Des and looked back at me and said, "You wash all the other little kids... You would wash Des's hair too?" and I said, "Yes". And she said, "And then what would I do?" and I said, "Well, you could go play." And she looked at Des again and then back at me, and then she got this huge smile on her face, and you could almost SEE her letting go of the responsibility of caring for her little sister. She ran over and gave me a hug, and then took off to play. She got it. I was there for her and for her sister. I was their mom.
With Solomon, that moment came when we left AHOPE for the second time together. We had spent two days together, and then we had gone back to AHOPE to visit. As we walked through the gate and the kids called out his name and came running to say hi to him, he sat in my arms with huge, silent tears running down his cheeks. He would not make eye contact with anyone (including me, the kids and the nannies) and just stared ahead with this heartbreaking acceptance of the fact that he thought he was being left. Again. It hurt me so much that he had come to accept this from life... that nice people came and went, but he did not truly belong to any of them. I couldn't imagine how his little heart felt and how he had endured all that he had already. I comforted him and held him close and told him over and over again in his ear that I would never, never, never leave him.
He started to relax a little the longer we were there and I stayed with him, but he was not his usual self. And then it happened. I put him in the sling, we waved good-bye, went back out through the gate and headed back up the road towards the hotel for some lunch. He got this HUGE grin on his face, and was bouncing up and down in the sling laughing, and then grabbing my face and kissing it over and over as we walked. He was so happy and joyful. He got it. He was not going to be left again. I was HIS. He was mine. I was his Mom.
Since then I have watched him blossom with love. I have watched him learn how to expect and look forward to being held often, comforted when he cries, rocked to sleep, having his needs met, getting individual attention and being smothered in hugs and kisses often. As I crawled into bed last night, a few hours after I had put him down to sleep, his little body turned towards me, and without waking up, he put his arm on me, snuggled in close and let out a content sigh.
All kids deserve that knowledge, that peace and that comfort. All kids deserve to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone.
I believe with all my heart that our Heavenly Father did not send us down here to go at life alone, to worry about ourselves and to focus our lives on material and trivial things. I believe with all my heart that we are meant to live in families... mothers, fathers and children together, focusing our lives on loving, enjoying and serving each other.
We have several reasons to believe that Solomon most likely spent very little (if any) time with his first mother. And yet even after multiple changes in caregivers and "homes", multiple losses and lots of suffering without a mom to comfort him, he KNEW what a Mom was for from our very first days together. His heart and soul reached out to mine and grabbed on firmly. He knew that he wanted a mom. He knew that hugs, kisses and rock-a-byes were something he wanted, deserved and needed. The other kids we met in Ethiopia knew it too. They knew that they belonged with parents. They knew that something big was missing from their lives.
My heart rejoices for my kids and others that have had their lives changed so drastically...who were once alone, and now live with love, security and family. Watching Solomon over the past few weeks has reminded me of what an incredible miracle adoption is.
And at the same time, my heart aches for the so very many kids who are living life alone right now. . Even the very best orphanage is no comparison to a home and family. It is wrong that these kids must wait and yearn for a family. They deserve, as all children do, the peace and security that comes with the knowledge of knowing that they belong to someone, that they are being cared for and that they are loved.
This is why I support adoption...because I have seen the sadness in the eyes of the children who wait for moms, I have seen the amazing transformation in children once they have been "claimed" and loved, and because I believe, with all my heart, that that love and belonging is what our lives on this Earth are supposed to be about.
I have been thinking a lot about kids lately... kids who don't have moms (and dads)... kids waiting for moms, and what life is like for kids who do not have parents. I have been thinking about the transformation that occurs when a child realizes he has a mom, a dad, a family...security, love and somewhere to belong.
With some of our kids, that "realization" that they have a Mom and a family, that they have someone to belong to, someone to watch over them, someone to care for them and someone to love them, has been gradual. With some of our kids, there has been this "a ha!" moment, where you could just see that they "got it".
There was baby Maggie... almost four months old... laying on the bed in our hotel in Vietnam on our first full day together (I had been visiting her for days at the hospital before this point). Before her hospitalization she had lived in a government orphanage where the babies had their names written on their legs in black magic marker so they could be told apart, and got very very little personal attention. She didn't cry when she was hungry or when she wanted something. She was quiet and tiny, but I could tell she loved being held and loved the attention I was giving her.
I walked away from the bed where she was laying to get a bottle for her, and she made this teeny tiny pitiful (feeble attempt at a) cry, and I rushed over and picked her up and offered her the bottle. She got this look of amazement on her face with a little smile that seemed to say, "Holy cow! You mean that crying thing WORKS with you??" and after that she did not want anyone but me and always wanted me close. She got it. I was there for her. I was her mom.
With Mercy, she was nine years old. She had had a mom before, who did not value or respect her role as a mom. Mercy knew neglect and abuse and loss. Despite that, she came to us with an open heart and a surprising amount of trust. At one point during our first week, Des needed her hair washed (and Mercy had been the one to care for Des up until that point, even though she was only three years older). Mercy told Des to go into the bathroom so she could wash her hair, and I gently told Mercy that I could wash Des's hair, and reminded her that that was the kind of thing a Mom should do. The social worker had warned us that "letting go" of being the caregiver of Des might be hard for Mercy and we might have some power struggles over it... but Mercy looked at me and looked at Des and looked back at me and said, "You wash all the other little kids... You would wash Des's hair too?" and I said, "Yes". And she said, "And then what would I do?" and I said, "Well, you could go play." And she looked at Des again and then back at me, and then she got this huge smile on her face, and you could almost SEE her letting go of the responsibility of caring for her little sister. She ran over and gave me a hug, and then took off to play. She got it. I was there for her and for her sister. I was their mom.
With Solomon, that moment came when we left AHOPE for the second time together. We had spent two days together, and then we had gone back to AHOPE to visit. As we walked through the gate and the kids called out his name and came running to say hi to him, he sat in my arms with huge, silent tears running down his cheeks. He would not make eye contact with anyone (including me, the kids and the nannies) and just stared ahead with this heartbreaking acceptance of the fact that he thought he was being left. Again. It hurt me so much that he had come to accept this from life... that nice people came and went, but he did not truly belong to any of them. I couldn't imagine how his little heart felt and how he had endured all that he had already. I comforted him and held him close and told him over and over again in his ear that I would never, never, never leave him.
He started to relax a little the longer we were there and I stayed with him, but he was not his usual self. And then it happened. I put him in the sling, we waved good-bye, went back out through the gate and headed back up the road towards the hotel for some lunch. He got this HUGE grin on his face, and was bouncing up and down in the sling laughing, and then grabbing my face and kissing it over and over as we walked. He was so happy and joyful. He got it. He was not going to be left again. I was HIS. He was mine. I was his Mom.
Since then I have watched him blossom with love. I have watched him learn how to expect and look forward to being held often, comforted when he cries, rocked to sleep, having his needs met, getting individual attention and being smothered in hugs and kisses often. As I crawled into bed last night, a few hours after I had put him down to sleep, his little body turned towards me, and without waking up, he put his arm on me, snuggled in close and let out a content sigh.
All kids deserve that knowledge, that peace and that comfort. All kids deserve to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone.
I believe with all my heart that our Heavenly Father did not send us down here to go at life alone, to worry about ourselves and to focus our lives on material and trivial things. I believe with all my heart that we are meant to live in families... mothers, fathers and children together, focusing our lives on loving, enjoying and serving each other.
We have several reasons to believe that Solomon most likely spent very little (if any) time with his first mother. And yet even after multiple changes in caregivers and "homes", multiple losses and lots of suffering without a mom to comfort him, he KNEW what a Mom was for from our very first days together. His heart and soul reached out to mine and grabbed on firmly. He knew that he wanted a mom. He knew that hugs, kisses and rock-a-byes were something he wanted, deserved and needed. The other kids we met in Ethiopia knew it too. They knew that they belonged with parents. They knew that something big was missing from their lives.
My heart rejoices for my kids and others that have had their lives changed so drastically...who were once alone, and now live with love, security and family. Watching Solomon over the past few weeks has reminded me of what an incredible miracle adoption is.
And at the same time, my heart aches for the so very many kids who are living life alone right now. . Even the very best orphanage is no comparison to a home and family. It is wrong that these kids must wait and yearn for a family. They deserve, as all children do, the peace and security that comes with the knowledge of knowing that they belong to someone, that they are being cared for and that they are loved.
This is why I support adoption...because I have seen the sadness in the eyes of the children who wait for moms, I have seen the amazing transformation in children once they have been "claimed" and loved, and because I believe, with all my heart, that that love and belonging is what our lives on this Earth are supposed to be about.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Reason #17- Foolishness and Wisdom
"This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength."
1 Cor. 1:25 (NLT)
A lot of people seem to question the "timing" of this adoption. They question why I would want to adopt now when I could wait and adopt if/when I get married again. They question why I would adopt while I am so far from my family. The question why I would adopt when I am still trying to get thru school. They question why I would adopt when I am still in a job where my schedule is unpredictable and keeps me from Abigail some evenings and weekends.
In my gut, I want to respond "do you really think I haven't wondered these things myself?" Because I have- these are questions I have faced within myself. But while other seem to present a "better" plan, a "wiser" plan (and many do this without hesitation!) I am convinced of this:
The wisdom of man is like foolishness when compared to the wisdom of GOD!
So, why should I concern myself with what others think would be "wiser"? The God of the universe, omniscient, omnipresent, all-powerful and all-knowing, has instructed me in His wisdom to pursue this adoption at this time. Um, I think HE might be just a tad wiser than anyone here on Earth, no?
1 Cor. 1:25 (NLT)
A lot of people seem to question the "timing" of this adoption. They question why I would want to adopt now when I could wait and adopt if/when I get married again. They question why I would adopt while I am so far from my family. The question why I would adopt when I am still trying to get thru school. They question why I would adopt when I am still in a job where my schedule is unpredictable and keeps me from Abigail some evenings and weekends.
In my gut, I want to respond "do you really think I haven't wondered these things myself?" Because I have- these are questions I have faced within myself. But while other seem to present a "better" plan, a "wiser" plan (and many do this without hesitation!) I am convinced of this:
The wisdom of man is like foolishness when compared to the wisdom of GOD!
So, why should I concern myself with what others think would be "wiser"? The God of the universe, omniscient, omnipresent, all-powerful and all-knowing, has instructed me in His wisdom to pursue this adoption at this time. Um, I think HE might be just a tad wiser than anyone here on Earth, no?
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Reason #15- Sisters, Revisited
I have written before about how I would like Abigail to have the experience of having a sister. But as I continue in this journey and think more about the reasons I am adopting, I have more to add.
Someone close to me recently expressed concerns about how this adoption will affect Abigail. It is their opinion that the adoption will be detrimental to Abigail, detracting from the time, resources, and finances that I can dedicate to "securing a good future" for her. These are valid concerns. Certainly, having another child will mean that the time I have with my children will be split between 2 children instead of directed only at Abigail. Certainly, having another child will mean that Abigail might have to miss out on things such as ballet classes or that, as the children get older, perhaps I won't be able to attend every field trip as a class mother. Certainly, having another child will mean that my budget is tighter and Abigail won't be lavished with gifts from me.
But having another child does not mean that I will not be able to express my love to Abigail in an effective way. In fact, as I read more about attachment and parenting, I think my skills as a parent are growing, and I am purposely participating in activites to grow the bond and attachment between Abigail and I (not that there is a problem with it, just that why not enhance it if I am learning how to do that anyway.) Even though I may not be able to spend as much one-on-one time with Abigail, I don't feel that it will be detrimental to her. In fact, I believe that the more love one experiences, whether it be from parents, grandparents, siblings, or friends- the better! And the more love one is exposed to- be it observing the love between your parents, grandparents, parents and sibling, or friends- the better!
While the resources I have may be split between Abigail and her sister, I think that this can be a good thing for her. She has pretty much lived a protected life, but as she grows, learning to help care for her younger sister- learning to help out, or read to her sister, or teach her sister how to write her name because Momma is spreading her resources more thin- well, I think that is a good thing. The skills of helping others, sharing, and creativly finding ways to accomplish tasks are excellent skills to prepare her for the future.
And yes, my budget will change with a new child at home. But I don't feel like I even need to address this one very much because people who know me well know that I am not one to promote the accumulation of wealth- the accumulation of things and stuff. I am much more interested in raising a caring child than a child privledge to have all the latest "stuff."
More importantly, the more I examine my life- the more I think about how I became who I am and what experiences really shaped me, the more I realize that it was not just my mom that had a hand in that, but rather the experience of being a sister and one of my mother's children that truly helped craft me into who I am. I've come to realize that at 5, I was glad I had a sister, at 15, I was not so glad, but by 25 I was once again glad about it. And I anticpate that the appreciation I have for having my siblings is likely to continue at 35, 55, and beyond.
I want both my children to experience the joy of being and having a sister. It will make them better people. It will make them more compassionate, more aware of the thoughts and feelings of others. And it will give them someone to dance and sing and laugh with:
Someone close to me recently expressed concerns about how this adoption will affect Abigail. It is their opinion that the adoption will be detrimental to Abigail, detracting from the time, resources, and finances that I can dedicate to "securing a good future" for her. These are valid concerns. Certainly, having another child will mean that the time I have with my children will be split between 2 children instead of directed only at Abigail. Certainly, having another child will mean that Abigail might have to miss out on things such as ballet classes or that, as the children get older, perhaps I won't be able to attend every field trip as a class mother. Certainly, having another child will mean that my budget is tighter and Abigail won't be lavished with gifts from me.
But having another child does not mean that I will not be able to express my love to Abigail in an effective way. In fact, as I read more about attachment and parenting, I think my skills as a parent are growing, and I am purposely participating in activites to grow the bond and attachment between Abigail and I (not that there is a problem with it, just that why not enhance it if I am learning how to do that anyway.) Even though I may not be able to spend as much one-on-one time with Abigail, I don't feel that it will be detrimental to her. In fact, I believe that the more love one experiences, whether it be from parents, grandparents, siblings, or friends- the better! And the more love one is exposed to- be it observing the love between your parents, grandparents, parents and sibling, or friends- the better!
While the resources I have may be split between Abigail and her sister, I think that this can be a good thing for her. She has pretty much lived a protected life, but as she grows, learning to help care for her younger sister- learning to help out, or read to her sister, or teach her sister how to write her name because Momma is spreading her resources more thin- well, I think that is a good thing. The skills of helping others, sharing, and creativly finding ways to accomplish tasks are excellent skills to prepare her for the future.
And yes, my budget will change with a new child at home. But I don't feel like I even need to address this one very much because people who know me well know that I am not one to promote the accumulation of wealth- the accumulation of things and stuff. I am much more interested in raising a caring child than a child privledge to have all the latest "stuff."
More importantly, the more I examine my life- the more I think about how I became who I am and what experiences really shaped me, the more I realize that it was not just my mom that had a hand in that, but rather the experience of being a sister and one of my mother's children that truly helped craft me into who I am. I've come to realize that at 5, I was glad I had a sister, at 15, I was not so glad, but by 25 I was once again glad about it. And I anticpate that the appreciation I have for having my siblings is likely to continue at 35, 55, and beyond.
I want both my children to experience the joy of being and having a sister. It will make them better people. It will make them more compassionate, more aware of the thoughts and feelings of others. And it will give them someone to dance and sing and laugh with:
Or this:
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Reason #14- No Less of a Miracle
"I don't want other people to judge us for it, or to make it seem like we are doing something "bad" by adopting... I don't want to have to defend our decision. I want to be excited and to feel like this is something worth celebrating (because it is!) ... I am not expecting balloons and cards, I just don't want any negativity either. I look at Solomon, and with all that he has suffered through and endured in such a short life, he deserves excitement and joy and to be celebrated, as much as any other child being born or adopted into a family. He is no less important, no less of a blessing, no less of a miracle."
Erin, mom to 10, bringing home #11 soon!
Erin, mom to 10, bringing home #11 soon!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Reason #13- Coincidentally...
"There is a child in Ethiopia who may only have a family if I adopt him or her.
I do not want my child to be viewed as a charity case. Nor do I want to be viewed as some kind of extra-good person for adopting him or her. So I tend to de-emphasize this piece. But... it was an important part of my decision-making, so I shouldn't pretend it was not.
I could go on forever about the situation in Ethiopia and what needs to be done, but here's the quick-and-dirty version: The latest research says there are 6 to 6.5 MILLION orphans in Ethiopia.It is indisputable that these children would be better served by an adoption within their own culture and country.
It is also indisputable that there are not enough people in Ethiopia to adopt all these kids. In the meantime, the majority of Ethiopian orphans will die, or will survive for some time in poverty, disease, and hunger.
A tiny fraction of these orphans will get adopted by people from other countries, and will miss out on their Ethiopian culture. This is indeed a significant loss, and a life away from one's homeland and biological family is definitely a life compromised. But it's a whole lot better than no life at all.
There is a child in Ethiopia who needs a family. Coincidentally, so do I."
Thanks Chou-Chou for explaining it so well.
I do not want my child to be viewed as a charity case. Nor do I want to be viewed as some kind of extra-good person for adopting him or her. So I tend to de-emphasize this piece. But... it was an important part of my decision-making, so I shouldn't pretend it was not.
I could go on forever about the situation in Ethiopia and what needs to be done, but here's the quick-and-dirty version: The latest research says there are 6 to 6.5 MILLION orphans in Ethiopia.It is indisputable that these children would be better served by an adoption within their own culture and country.
It is also indisputable that there are not enough people in Ethiopia to adopt all these kids. In the meantime, the majority of Ethiopian orphans will die, or will survive for some time in poverty, disease, and hunger.
A tiny fraction of these orphans will get adopted by people from other countries, and will miss out on their Ethiopian culture. This is indeed a significant loss, and a life away from one's homeland and biological family is definitely a life compromised. But it's a whole lot better than no life at all.
There is a child in Ethiopia who needs a family. Coincidentally, so do I."
Thanks Chou-Chou for explaining it so well.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Reason #12- It's right.
I have a friend who has adopted 3 beautiful children from China and she said that when we came across the place that was right, we would "know". I found that hard to believe because I never "know" anything. I analyze, change my mind and think everything to death. Yet, she was right. We started reading about the country, the culture, the people and the process and it was just "right".
Sometimes, things are just "right," and you don't know why. You just know that it is what it is.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Reason #11- Witness and Vessel
"God called Moses to be a witness and a vessel but not the savior. That's how I feel about this adoption."
Valerie Washington, Chicagoan, Ethiopian adoptive parent-in-waiting
Valarie has just written a series of 3 posts about poverty in Ethiopia and how adoption relates to the humanitarian crisis there. Wonderful and enlightening stuff. Check it out:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Valerie Washington, Chicagoan, Ethiopian adoptive parent-in-waiting
Valarie has just written a series of 3 posts about poverty in Ethiopia and how adoption relates to the humanitarian crisis there. Wonderful and enlightening stuff. Check it out:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Reason #10- And I Quote...
"Each time we have taken the leap to adopt (and in a lot of ways it is no less scary the eighth time than it is the first time), we have done so with a strong personal conviction that the child we were adopting was meant to be in our family, and an overwhelming desire to love that child and bring him or her home to us."
Erin, mom to 11 (8 throught transracial adoption)
Transracial/Transcultural Adoption Blog
Erin, mom to 11 (8 throught transracial adoption)
Transracial/Transcultural Adoption Blog
Friday, December 21, 2007
Reason #9- Matthew 18:5
Jesus said... "And when you welcome one of these children because of me, you welcome me."
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Reason #8- Want, Need, Deserve
I will never forget Emily's statement on her blog: There are so many children who want, need, and deserve a family.
I believe family is God's design. I believe that God created the perfect family when Adam and Eve came together and were told to be fruitful. I believe that God designed humans with the need to experience family as an expression of His love for us (similarly, God tested Job through destroying his family.) I believe that God wants each person to be in a family. This is God's perfect design.
I believe that sin entered this world, and because of sin, we cannot experience perfection here on earth. I believe that God can and does redeem us from this sin, and allows us to experience His grace, mercy, and blessings. One of the blessings we experience is family.
I believe that "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights" (James 1:17). Like any blessing in our life, we should share the blessing of family. For some, this may mean caring for parents, grandparents, or others who need help. For some, this is sponsoring a child or family less fortunate. For some, this is bearing and loving a child. For me, this is adding a child to my family in an alternate way, and loving them their whole life long.
There are so many children out there who, because of sin, are suffering. They are sick, hungry, alone. Many of them are dying. The all want, need, and deserve families. And I have a family to share.
My family is not perfect according to what I believe God's ultimate design was: there is no dad in my family. But there is a Momma, a lot of love, and a good God. We live in a broken world, but my God is gracious, and He uses these flaws and imperfections to bring Him glory.
I believe family is God's design. I believe that God created the perfect family when Adam and Eve came together and were told to be fruitful. I believe that God designed humans with the need to experience family as an expression of His love for us (similarly, God tested Job through destroying his family.) I believe that God wants each person to be in a family. This is God's perfect design.
I believe that sin entered this world, and because of sin, we cannot experience perfection here on earth. I believe that God can and does redeem us from this sin, and allows us to experience His grace, mercy, and blessings. One of the blessings we experience is family.
I believe that "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights" (James 1:17). Like any blessing in our life, we should share the blessing of family. For some, this may mean caring for parents, grandparents, or others who need help. For some, this is sponsoring a child or family less fortunate. For some, this is bearing and loving a child. For me, this is adding a child to my family in an alternate way, and loving them their whole life long.
There are so many children out there who, because of sin, are suffering. They are sick, hungry, alone. Many of them are dying. The all want, need, and deserve families. And I have a family to share.
My family is not perfect according to what I believe God's ultimate design was: there is no dad in my family. But there is a Momma, a lot of love, and a good God. We live in a broken world, but my God is gracious, and He uses these flaws and imperfections to bring Him glory.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Reason #6- 1 John 3:18
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
Reason #5- Let Love In
You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Parenting Philosophy-ish
One of the requirements for my Ethiopian dossier is to write a statement explaining why I want to adopt, why I want to adopt from Ethiopia, how you plan to keep the child's culture and heritage alive, and what you feel your strengths are as a parent. Pish-Posh. That's nothing, right? Here's what I am submitting... a synopsis of my parenting philosophy, I guess:)
To Whom It May Concern:
Ever since I was a child, I have loved the idea of adoption. It seemed the most natural way to grow a family- to love a child who had no home. What could be more beautiful or right? For quite some time I have been considering adoption, but recently have decided that it is the right time to add a child to my family: another child for me to love and share my life with, and a little sister for my daughter.
From the time I began exploring international adoption, I felt drawn to Ethiopia. As I learned more about the country, Ethiopia’s history, and the present conditions, I knew this country was calling my name. I know my child is in Ethiopia. The current state of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa, and specifically the way it is ravishing Ethiopia, drew my nurse’s heart to the children who where orphaned by this horrible disease, and the families that have been broken apart by something from which we in America rarely suffer.
I look forward to being able to share in the deep history and culture of Ethiopia. Already, my daughter and I enjoy reading stories about Ethiopia and exploring the world map to find Ethiopia and her neighbors. We have started connecting to the local Ethiopian community, trying new foods, listening to new music. We learn about the country, the current conditions, the beauty of the history, and love to share what we learn with others. I look forward to serving the Ethiopian people using my nursing skills.
There is an old saying “give a man a fish and he will eat for a day- teach a man to fish and he will never be hungry.” I feel that my greatest strength as a parent lies in my ability to teach. I don’t just tie my daughter’s shoe laces- I teach her how to tie them. I don’t just read bedtime stories to her- I teach her how to read. I don’t just dictate morals and ethics- I teach her how to think about life and people, how to consider others and make choices. As the leaders of tomorrow, it is important that the children of today learn to value the human life, and I feel privileged to be teaching this to my daughter, even at her young age. Even more, I delight in the way she teaches me. Children are wonderful teachers, and my second greatest strength as a parent is my ability to learn from my daughter. For the rest of my life, I hope I will always be able to humble myself and discover what wonderful creations that can spring from the minds of children.
I know that I am not perfect. I realize that I have limits and boundaries in what I can do for my child- what I can give my child. But what I have learned so far in parenthood is this: there is no such thing as a perfect parent; there are only parents who do their best. I hope that I am able to teach this to my children- to do their best, always. To know that their best is enough. Above all, I hope that I am able to love them deeply enough that they never question their intrinsic worth.
Sincerely,
Grace Kirk
To Whom It May Concern:
Ever since I was a child, I have loved the idea of adoption. It seemed the most natural way to grow a family- to love a child who had no home. What could be more beautiful or right? For quite some time I have been considering adoption, but recently have decided that it is the right time to add a child to my family: another child for me to love and share my life with, and a little sister for my daughter.
From the time I began exploring international adoption, I felt drawn to Ethiopia. As I learned more about the country, Ethiopia’s history, and the present conditions, I knew this country was calling my name. I know my child is in Ethiopia. The current state of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa, and specifically the way it is ravishing Ethiopia, drew my nurse’s heart to the children who where orphaned by this horrible disease, and the families that have been broken apart by something from which we in America rarely suffer.
I look forward to being able to share in the deep history and culture of Ethiopia. Already, my daughter and I enjoy reading stories about Ethiopia and exploring the world map to find Ethiopia and her neighbors. We have started connecting to the local Ethiopian community, trying new foods, listening to new music. We learn about the country, the current conditions, the beauty of the history, and love to share what we learn with others. I look forward to serving the Ethiopian people using my nursing skills.
There is an old saying “give a man a fish and he will eat for a day- teach a man to fish and he will never be hungry.” I feel that my greatest strength as a parent lies in my ability to teach. I don’t just tie my daughter’s shoe laces- I teach her how to tie them. I don’t just read bedtime stories to her- I teach her how to read. I don’t just dictate morals and ethics- I teach her how to think about life and people, how to consider others and make choices. As the leaders of tomorrow, it is important that the children of today learn to value the human life, and I feel privileged to be teaching this to my daughter, even at her young age. Even more, I delight in the way she teaches me. Children are wonderful teachers, and my second greatest strength as a parent is my ability to learn from my daughter. For the rest of my life, I hope I will always be able to humble myself and discover what wonderful creations that can spring from the minds of children.
I know that I am not perfect. I realize that I have limits and boundaries in what I can do for my child- what I can give my child. But what I have learned so far in parenthood is this: there is no such thing as a perfect parent; there are only parents who do their best. I hope that I am able to teach this to my children- to do their best, always. To know that their best is enough. Above all, I hope that I am able to love them deeply enough that they never question their intrinsic worth.
Sincerely,
Grace Kirk
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Reason #3- Sisters
On Monday I asked my sister if she would accompany me to Ethiopia when it was time to pick up my new little one. I knew I wanted to take Abigail along to this family-growing event, but traveling back to the US with Abigail and a toddler, on a plane for 17 hours... not so fun sounding. So when I thought about a grown-up that I would like to have along for this momentous occasion, I thought of my sister.
My sister and I were not terribly close growing up, and even now we are not as close as some sisters. But the older I get, the more I appreciate having a sister (and brother.) Your family is so important, and I know my family will always be there for me. Plus, there is a lot to be said for having someone to sit around and "remember when..." with.
And part of why I want to adopt is to give Abigail the chance to have that. To be a sister.
My sister and I were not terribly close growing up, and even now we are not as close as some sisters. But the older I get, the more I appreciate having a sister (and brother.) Your family is so important, and I know my family will always be there for me. Plus, there is a lot to be said for having someone to sit around and "remember when..." with.
And part of why I want to adopt is to give Abigail the chance to have that. To be a sister.
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