Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Pangs

Sometimes, in the course of reading a blog or getting an email from an adoptive family, I get that pang. The uncomfortable but familiar twinge deep inside my chest that was so frequent during my own journey to adoption. I thought, at the time, that the pang was one of longing for my child, and it was. I thought that surely that pang would go away once Anna was home.

It didn't.

There are children out there who I long for- children who I love. I don't know them, and I may never know them. But I love them as deeply as a mother's heart knows how to love. I hope that one day I will be able to hold them in my arms.

And if I can't, I hope another mother will.



(Note, this does not mean that John and I are adopting, pregnant, or adding to our family in any way at this point in time. At this time, we are not sure how we will grow our family.)

(Note to my note: I really would like to add to our family in the canine department. I know there is a dog out there who needs to come live in our house and run around with my children and answer to the name Albus Dumbledore. I know it. But my guess is that John will not allow us to have a canine addition any time soon. In fact, he is much more open to human additions than canine additions. But Abigail said she would get me a dog for Christmas, so I am holding out hope.)

4 comments:

Lori S said...

I know the pang!! Just started looking through my favorite blogs again after many months and started feeling that pang again. With 6 kids, I'm 99.999% sure that we're done...but would love to return to Ethiopia and love on those kiddos again!
Good luck getting your puppy! (o:

Mark and Heidi said...

I can relate to both of those pangs. When I read a book like "there is no me without you" or watch one of those adoption programs on Discovery Health I feel like I could adopt 10. And I have three dogs so it's pretty clear how I feel on that front. Hope you can get your puppy soon!!!

evenshine said...

I SO know what you're talking about. I get those pangs every day. We've signed with an agency, and are just waiting to have the funds to move forward. Good luck in the canine department!!

Anonymous said...

Oh how I know those pangs. Wonder if they ever go away? Wonder if I would really want them to go away? With 4 kids, 2 dogs, and 1 cat, not sure we can do any more but that doesn't lessen the pang. I do work with a Golden Retriever Rescue that helps (but not so much) with the dog pang. Randy went on a mission trip this summer. Again, it helps to feel like we're doing something but then again, it doesn't really make the pang go away.

Good luck on the pup for xmas. If you happen by Petsmart of other pet stores around xmas, I'm betting they may just have a doggy adoption day. And if you happen to fall in love with one and let it smooch all over John, you might could get one. OR if someone left one on your doorstep, you'd HAVE to take it in.

Jan