Jealousy

Alright, I might ruffle some feathers here, but I trust that my regular readers will not be offended:)

I'll be honest: until I started educating myself about transracial adoption and parenting a black child, I never heard of "white envy"- an idea that basically espouses that black kids want to be white and that is the reason why they want straight hair or lighter skin or whatever. From the reading I have done, it seems that this idea is not really "true"- Dr. Wright, who wrote "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla," debunks this myth in her book, and for a further discussion, I recommend you read her book.

Now, I ask you, has anyone ever heard of "black envy"? Because I think it's real, and I think Abigail has it.

This girl is so in love with black people! She could look at pictures of Ethiopians for hours, and keep up an endless stream of how beautiful their eyes and smiles and faces are. She loves black skin of all colors, and is always asking to touch it because "it looks so soft and shiny." (This is odd in public places, and I hope we have not offended anyone when she has made her request in a voice loud enough to be heard by others.) And black hair... she has never seen a black hair style she did not want to imitate. Ballies, cornrows, locks... she cries when my attempts at braiding her hair fail (which they inevitably do since her hair is just not the right texture to hold a braid.)

Every time we see a referral picture, every time we click to see Micah, Pacey, the Owlhavens, the Quinns, or baby Ian she ooohs and ahhhs and asks if her sister will look just like these beautiful kids. When we read her favorite book "We're Different, We're the Same" she always chooses the eyes and skin and nose of the black characters as the most beautiful (and sometimes even as the one she looks the most like.) This girl has black envy. I love it!